Paris maiN din chaRhay hi pohanch gaya thha. HotlooN maiN check-in ka waqt amouman bara bajay dopahr ka hota hai magar nou das bajay tak kamra mil hi jaata hai. Mai subhu saat bajay hi hotel maiN aa gaya thha layhaza istakbalia counter pay bata kar lobby maiN baithh gaya. Raat kay safar say thhakawat to baharhal hoti hai laikin aaj mujhay koe kaam na thha swaae araam karnay kay kyouN kay meree tamaamtar masroufiat kal kay din hi say wabasta thheeN.

I love you ki niswani awaaz nai mujhay apni taraf mutawajay keya.. mai nai gardun ghuma kar dekhha tou ek odhayR umar Amriki joRa thha jo shayed Paris shehr ki siyahat ko jaanay walay uss group ka hissa thha jissay aathh bajay hotel ki lobby say rawana hona thha. UdhayR umar mard nai bhi aurat kay kandhay thapthapatay howay jawaban kaha I love you too sweet heart. Jazbaat ka aisa khhula izhar youN to magrabi iqdar ka hissa hai aur iss per kissi radayamal ki gunjaaish nahi honi chahiay laikin yea bahartour kuchh ajeeb sa lagta hai. Shayed iss liay kay hamaray haaN amoumi tour per khalus-o-mohabat ka aisa khhula izhar siray say hota nahi aur agar kahiN hota bhi ho to meray elm maiN kabhi nahi aayaa. Apnay gahrouN maiN to mai nai waldayn ki aksriaat ko aulad say bhi aisi zahiri laypapoti kartay nahi dekhha.

Mera dimagh jo qareeban qareeban khali thha namaloom kyouN pyar kay ess tarz-e-izhar pay atak kay rayh gaya. Mera ji chahaa kay maiN iss udhayR umar amriki joRay hi say puchh looN kay pyar kay yea bol kya dil say nikaltay haiN yaaN yea mahaz routine ki karwaai hai jo inn ratay rataaye jumlooN say apnay wajood ko mahsoos karwanay kay liaay adda keay jaatay haiN. Laikin shayed dhaR damagh say ziyada araam ka khuwahishmand thha layhaza souch ko jab koe jawab na mila to uss nai apnay hi raastay talash karnay shurou kar diaay.

Souch aagay to jaa nahi sakti thhe kay mujhay khali palao pakanay ka kabhi shouq nahi raha ess liaay souch hamaysha ki tarah pichhay hi ko palat gai. Pichhlay saal ki baat hai. Mujhay Saudi Arab maiN itlaa ki gai kay meree walda hospital maiN hai. Unn per angina ka shadeed hamla huwa thha. Mai fori Lahore chala aayaa kay apnay aap ko dar aanay wali bayrayham souchouN aur bayqabouN lamhouN say bachanay ka yahi wahid hall thha. Mai un kay moalij say mila to uss nay kaha kay apni walada ko angiography karwanay kay liaay raazi karoo. Wo maanti nahi thheeN. Unn ka kayhna thha kay angiography kay baad phhir moamla dil ki jarahat tak chala jaae ga aur wo jarahi amal kay liaay bilkul tayyar nahi thheeN. Moalij jo ab iss baat per israr kar raha thha wo unn ka eik arsay say moualij thha. Uss kay nazdeek angina kay hamlooN ka tanasab bahR gaya thha layhaza yea jaanana zaroori thha kay dil ki sharayyanouN ki asal surat-e-haal kya hai. Jab wo na maani to uss nay mujhay zor day kar kaha kay mai unn ko iss baat pay kaael karooN. Bayshak mujhay apnay waldayn say bayhad pyar thha, hai aur mujhay yaqeen hai kay rahay ga bhi aur mujhay iss baat ka bhi puri tarah elm hai kay unn ko bhi mujh say bayhad pyar thha. Aur yehi ek wahid wajah thhe kay wo apni khwahish kay beraks meree baat maan kar takleef kay her amal say guzar gaeeN aur ess tarha kay unnhouN naiN itayhai azeeyat maiN apnay aakhri ayaam bitaae magar phhir bhi mujhay iss ka qasoorwar na thhahraya. Aur na hi ess baat ka ratti barabar izhar hi keya. Mai unn kay intehai nigahdasht walay ward day bahir raha aur jab bhi unn kay paas gaya – unn kay qareeb huwa to unhouN nai mujhay chooma. Aisa unn ka tareek-e-izhar kabhi na raha thha. Ess ki wajah shayed yehi thhi kay mai nai ander hi ander apnay aap ko qasoorwar gardanana shuroo kar diya thha aur maaN ki nazar aulad ki her souch ko pahR laiti hai. Pyar shayed aik doosray ko paRhnay ka naam hai. samajhnay ka naam hai aur eik doojay per marmatnay ka bhi. Khayal bhi ajeeb hotay haiN. Akailay to aatay hi nahi. Apnay saath jazbat kay badal bhi lay aatay hai. Jo mousam say qataa nazar baras bhi jaatay haiN. Lobby kay bahar bhi shayed barash honay lagi thhi aur bayshumar khhulay chhatouN (umberala) say youN lag raha thha jaisay khumbiooN ki fasal ugg aai ho.

Mai nai gahRee dekhhi to abhi das bajnay maiN dair thhi. Paris ka yea hotel qareeban hazar say zayed kamrouN per mushtamil hai magar ess kay bawajoud khasa pur-rounak aur masroof. Shehr ka tour karwanay wali bus aa khhaRee huwi hai. Aur mukhtalif jaghouN say sayahat kay shaaeqeen cameray sumbhalay hastay muskaratay bus maiN suwar ho rahay haiN. Mai lobby kay eik konay maiN baittha dunniya daikhh raha hooN. Zindagi dheray dheray aagay baRh rahi hai magar khayal mujhay peechay ki taraf dhakail rahai haiN. Kayhtay haiN kay yea nostalgia bhi ek tarha ki bemari hai jo umar guzarnay kay baad insaan ko aisi lagti hai kay iss say to phhir taa zindagi nijaat nahi milti.

Eik shaks meree samanay aa baithha hai. Uss nay jaib say koe khat nikala hai aur paRhnay laga hai. Intezar maiN khud ko masroof rakhhnay ka shayed yea bhi ek tareeka hai. Khat to shayed ab ki zindagi say nikal hi gae haiN. Aaj ki taraki yaafta zindagi maiN jazbouN kay izhar ki bazaria daak terseel ek matruka amal ban chuka hai. Electronic mail nai khatoot ki jagah lay li hai. Ess tarah khatoot ki terseel maiN barak raftari to zaroor aai hai. Laikin un maiN izhar ki roumanaweyat khatam ho kay rayh gai hai. Khat ki khubasoorati aur tahreer ki tafaseel maiN pyar mohabat ka mizaj hi nahi raha. Husn-e-bayaan hi nahi raha. YouN to mai nai bhi kabhi khatoot ko ta talf nahi kiya. HaaN albataa tasaveer nahi haiN wo mai nai tamam ki tamam apnay dil mai saja rakhhi haiN. Inn pyar bharay khatoot maiN ek khat aisa bhi hai jo meree phhuphhi ka tahreer karda hai. Wo meray watan chhoRnay kay kuchh maah baad hi gurday fail ho jaanay kay bais chal baseeN. YouN to hamara khandan ek dusray say bayhad juRa huwa hai. Ham jaantay bhi haiN aur samajhtay bhi haiN kay hamaiN eik dusray say bohat mohabat hai laikin ham eik dusray say ess ka izhar nahi kartay. Namaloum kyouN? UnhouN nai mujhay jo khat likhha thha uss ka ikhtatami jumla yea thha “kay agar khuda nai mujhay koe qudrat di hoti to mai tumhaiN bahar kabhi na jaanay dayti” Bohat say log hotel kay bahar walay shade maiN khhaRay nazar aa rahay haiN shayed barash zayadah taiz ho gai hai.

Europe ka mousam bhi ham logooN kay mizajouN ki tarha ho gaya hai. Na suraj nikalnay ka pata chalta hai na barash aanay ka. Reception counter say mujhay bulawa aa gaya hai. Mai check-in kay liaay utth gaya hooN. Chaabi meray haath maiN hai aur aaNkhouN maiN neend ka shadeed ghalba – yea neend bhi ajeeb hoti hai sooli per bhi aa jaati hai.

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