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Cultural Orphans - Sunanda Vashisht Sunanda Vashisht was born in the beautiful valley of Kashmir, India when Kashmir was known for its unparalleled natural beauty and not as a cauldron of fear and terror. She did most of her schooling in Delhi and dabbled with several professions before moving to U.S last year. she is currently pursuing higher studies here. she likes to introduce herself as an explorer because she wants to spend all her time in this world exploring unknown. Writing for her is a cathartic experience. She can't remember when she began writing first but she does know that writing has always helped her to be at peace with herself and with the world around her.

I have a question for my readers this time.

How do we raise Indian Kids outside India? Actually I should put it this way. Is it possible to raise a kid with Indian values outside of India?

The reason I am asking this is that more and more first generation immigrants whose children are born here are faced with this dilemma. The children of first generation immigrants are often called ABCD’S or American Born Confused Desis, the term seems to me more confusing than the people it applies to. Sure the children are confused because they are dealing with two cultures at the same time, something that could confuse anyone. The culture, which their parents insist that they adopt because of their parentage or the culture that they come across every day in school, on roads, on television and most people they interact with.

“Why is dating bad or why is living together such a bad idea” is what this confused generation often wonders. ‘Why the heck should we settle for arranged marriage, which is such an archaic custom anyway,” is a valid question. “Why do our parents expect so much from us” stifles them. Many years ago Sir V.S. Naipaul created a very interesting term to describe these people. He called the second-generation immigrants, cultural orphans. The term of course applied to him because he was the descendant of Indian parents born and raised in Trinidad. I often think about this word and how apt it is for this generation.

Over a period of time, I have been getting more and more convinced that children born and raised here will be Americans with Indian descent and nothing more than that. This is something that first generation immigrants have to live with. I am not saying that it is not possible to raise a child with Indian Values. Sure it is, because value system is inherited from home and parents sure can expose children to Indian culture but they will still be American Kids well versed with Indian customs and nothing beyond that. The children will sooner or later in their actions or in their behavior reflect their surroundings. They could speak perfect gujrati, hindi or tamil and they could participate actively in Indian community activities but their mindset will always remain American.

I am not sure if this is entirely good or entirely bad and that is why I started this piece with a question. I think a huge price we pay for living here is that slowly and steadily with every generation Indian values are getting diluted and one day will be completely eroded.

Till we connect again...

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