Tareekh yeh batanay say qasir hai kay insaan nay shadi ko samaaji haseeiat say kab apnay moaasharti nizaam maiN shamil kiya. Khaandan ka tassawer youN to shayed iss dunya ki ibtida hi say wajood maiN aa gaya ho ga lakin uss kay yakja rahnay ki muddat ka taaeyun insaan kay elawaa her zee-rooh maiN unn kay bachouN ki balooghat tak mahdood rahta hai. Sirf insaan hi aisee makhlooq hai jis kay bachoN ki balughat ki umar khaasi taweel hoti hai aur shayed isee liay uss k khaandan ki yaktaae ka wajood bhi ek taweel muddat per moheet rehta hai.

Shadi moaashray kay samaaji Dhaanchay ka ek intihaai eham juz hai. Yeh hamaray amoomi (general) moaasharati rawayyooN (social behaviors) maiN nazm (discipline), rabt-o-zabt (interactions), tarteeb (order) aur aitedal (balance) lay kar aata hai.Haqooq-o-farayz (duties and responsibilities) aur ehsaas-e-zimaydaari (sense of responsibility) kay asool bhi inhi rawayyooN kay tahat kaam kartay haiN jin ka wajood insaani jazbooN ki bunyad per hi qaaem-o-dayem hai.

Jadeed moashray nai shadi kay bundhan aur us kay barqarar na rah saknay ki wajooh say paida honay wali suratooN ko apnay apnay halaat, mizaj, rawayyay aur aitaiqad (belief) k mutaabiq qaanooni aur samaaji rungooN maiN Dhaal rakha hai taakay samaaji rawayyouN maiN tarteeb-o-aitadal ka pehloo (aspect) badaltay zamanay kay saath saath apni efaadiat (importance) barqarar rakhay.

Maghrib maiN moasharti, taaleemi aur samaaji nazam kay her shoba (field) maiN dar aanay wali sciencee taraqqi nai ik aisay machinee rawayyay ko farogh (give rise to) diya hai jis kay baais (reason) wahaN shadi ka tasawur aur khaandani rawayyay intehaai tabdeelioN ki zad (under target) maiN hai. WahaN sadiyoN say qaaim khaandani yaktaai ka khayaal nai mizaj apna raha hai aur tabdeeli ka yeh aahang ( way) unn ki roz-marra (daily) zindagi per apna asar jamaanay waalay aisay hi maadi(materialistic) rawayyouN k baais hai. iss kay baraks(contrary) hamara moashra nasloN say raaej rewaajooN, jazboN aur mukhtalif qisam kay aitqadi rawayyouN hi kay zair-e-tasallut hai jis maiN ta-haal kisi baRee tabdeeli ka rujhaan nazar nahi aa yaa. HalaNkay hamaray moashray maiN taleemi asar ka rung nazar aanay laga hai.

In badaltay huway rujhanaat say qata-nazar aik rawayya aur bhi hai jissay shadi ka bundhan janam day tou daita hai magar moasharti rawaaj aur samaaji atwaar usay apnay hisaar maiN chupai rakhtay hai. JahaN hamari zindagi pyar aur ehtraam say muzeian(decorated) hai wahaN bardaasht ki had ka bhi ek waazay taaiyun majood hai. Waisay doosray moashrooN maiN ikhtalaaf-e-raaey rakhnay walay kay nuqta-e-nazar ko musbat andaz say dekha jaataa hai. Aur iss qisam kay rawayyay ko moashrati iqdaar ki sehat kay liaay intehaai zaroori khayaal kia jaata hai. Magar hamaray moashray maiN ikhtalaaf-e-raaey ko bai-jaa (excessive) himmat, badtameezi aur badtehzeebi(un sophisticated) tassawer kiya jaata hai. Aur hadd say guzarnay wala qarar-e-waqai sazaa ka mustahiq gardaana jaata hai. Iss ziman maiN kuch log taleem kay fuqdaan ko iss rawayyay ka baais qarar daytay haiN jo durust nahi kay iss qisam ka rujhaan to moashray maiN her maktab-e-fikr(school of thought) kay ishkhas( people) maiN moujood hai.

Ham agar bahasiat-e-majmoee (over all /in general) apnay moashray maiN bardasht kay rawayyouN per ghor-o-fiqar karaiN to yaqeenan (certainly) ham iss natijay per ba-aasani pohanch jaaeeN gay kay ham log bohat say moamlooN maiN bardasht karnay ka maada hi nahi rakhtay. Yeh alag behas(debate) hai kay ham log isay tasleem karaiN ya nahi. Hamari soch ya raae per agar koe ikhtilaf-e-raae ka izhar karna chaahay wo baat haq per hi mabni kyoN na ho ham usay apni toheen (insult) samajh baitthtay haiN ya in aitrazaat maiN nafrat kay pehloo dhondnay lagtay haiN. Jis kay baais mamooli mamooli baatoN per na-pasandeeda halaat paida ho jaatay haiN. Baat siyasat ki ho ya mazhab ki. Bahimi ta-aluq ki ho ya moashrati atwaar ki, samaaji behbood (social welfare)ki ho ya ikhlaqi iqdar ki ham bahasiat-e-majmoee apnay nuqta-e-nazar(point of view) ko hi afzal-o-behtar gardaantay haiN. Aur iss kay baraks kisi bhi raae ko khwa(whether) wo musbat ho ya manfi na to uss per ghor kartay haiN na maantay haiN na ehmeiat(importance) daitay haiN bulkay aisi jurat karnay walay ko bakhsh dayna acha khayal nahi kartay. RawayyouN maiN aitdaal apnanay ka shayed hamaiN koe tareeqa hi nahi aata. Jis ki bazahir koi wajah bhi nazar nahi aati swaae hamaray khoon maiN baRhee hooe uss garmi kay jo hamari aksareeyat kay dil-o-damagh ko yakdam garam kar daiti hai.

Shadi kay ziman maiN hamaray moashray ka amoomi rawayya kamo-baish yehi raha kay aurat mard kay paaowN ki juti hai puri aai tou pehni warna utaar phaiNki. Ho sakta hai yeh baat kehnay tak hi mehdood ho laikin yeh baat kahi aur suni jaati rahi hai. HalaNkay hamaray moashray maiN talaaq dainay, dusri shadi karnay walooN ko ginti maiN laya jaae tou un ki tadaat na honay kay barabar ho gi. Hamaray moashray maiN youN bhi aurtooN ko yehi bataya, samjhaya aur sikhaya jaata raha hai kay unhaiN apnay miaaN(husband) kay gahr say mar kar hi nikalna hai. isee tarbiat kay zayr-e- asar bohat si aurtaiN apnay susraali gahroN maiN unginat (uncountable) aziaatouN (tortures) ka shikaar rehti haiN. Dukh, takaleef aur masaaeb jhailti(suffer) haiN magar un say chhutkaara panay ka sadd-e-baab to darkinar inn ziaditiouN kay khilaaf woh mamooli sa ehtajaj bhi kar nahi paateeN. Wajuhaat ka tajzia kiya jaae to ek baRee waja inn aurtouN maiN moaashi kamzori ka hona hai. Dusra, baap ki wafat kay baad un ka power base yaani maika qareeban kahtam hi ho jataa hai. Teesra ,talaq-yaafta aurtoN ki dobaara shadi ka masla hai jo her moamlaat maiN sulah-joi hi ko awwal –o-akhir samajhta hai chaahay woh inn haalat maiN behter hall (solution) nazar aata ho ya nahi. Chothi (fourth)baat jo sub say eham hai wo dushmaniaN haiN jo talaaq diay ya liay jaanay kay saath hi do khaandanouN maiN sir uthha laiti haiN jo basaa oqaat naslooN tak ka khoon chaaT jaati haiN kyouN kay shaadi hamaray haaN mard aurat ka nahi khaandanouN ka milan samjha jaataa hai aur shadi TooT jaanay per khaandanoN maiN tafaruqa (conflict) isee tasawur ka hi aik tasalsul hai.

Iss kay baraks dusray moashraouN maiN shadi ho jaanay kay baad khaandanoN ka amal dakhal kam aur miaN bewi ka aapsi taaluk ziaada eham rayhta hai. Agar woh ess natejay per pahanch jaaeeN kay woh akathhay(together) nahi reh saktay to who achhay tareekay say elaihdagi (separation) kar laitay haiN kissi qisam ki naachaqi kay baghair. Iss qisam ka rawayya siraf maghrab hi maiN nahi balkay bohat say dusray mumalik maiN bhi raaej hai. Aur yooN bhi aqli baat yehi hai kay miaN bewi agar samjhaiN kay unka aapsi guzara mumkin nahi raha to wo ahsen tareeq(in a good way) per aik dusray say alag ho jaaeN. Magar aisa haqeeqatan hota nahi. Ham apnay aap ko ikhlaaqi layhaz say jitna marzi buland khyaal karaiN laikin yeh eik kaRwa sach hai. Hamaari ikhlaqi girawaT ka muNh bolta sach.

Iss saaray mazmoon ko likhnay ka baais woh mushaahedaat (Observations) haiN jo mujhay haal hi maiN kiay gai mukhtalif mumalik kay safar maiN dekhnay ko millay. Sharq ul awsat(middle-east) maiN talaaq kay bawajood mai nai mardoN ko apni sabiqa(ex) mankuha (wife) ki zaroorat paRnay per her mumkin madad kartay dekha hai. Aur meri hairani per unn kay jawab nai mujhay mazeed shushdar kar diya. Unn maiN say kuch tou ik saath guzray waqt ka ehsaan yaad kartay huway aisa karna apna faraz samjhtay haiN. Apni sabiqa mankooha (ex-wife) ko achay lafzoN say yaad kartay haiN. Aur talaaq ki wajooh maiN apna kirdaar bhi nahi bhultay. Kuch kay nazdeek woh un ki sabika mankuha baad maiN hai aur unn kay bachouN ki maaN (agar bachay haiN) pehlay. Aur iss kay baais uss ka istayhqaq (right) hai ka wo haq jaan kar madad maNgay. Unn kay nazdeek bachouN ka rishta un dono kay beech hamesha majood rahay ga. Aur bachoN ko maaN ki fikar bhi. Layhaza maaN ki madad bachouN kay zehni istayhkam kay liaay nihayat zarori hai.

Maghrib say ta’aluq rakhnay walay bohat say ishkhaas say bhi meree shanasai hai. Aur meree un kay moashrati dhanchay (social setup or social structure) say bhi kisi had tak waqfiat hai. WahaN per shadi aur khaandani nizaam inhaytat pazeer haiN. Laikin talaaq kay baad bhi miaN bewi maiN insaani rishta barqarar rehta hai. Magar ham tou yeh sub kuch toR kar rakh daitay haiN. Yeh ek aisi jahaalat hai jo hamaray taleem-yaafta logoN maiN bhi itni hi hai jitni nakhwanda(illiterate) logooN maiN.

HamaiN soch maiN tabdelee ki zarorat hai aur bartaao(behaviour) maiN aitadal ki. Insaani rawayyouN maiN zindagi kay rung ussi waqt numayaaN hoN gay jab hamaiN ek dusray ka ehsaas ho ga. Ham ko eik dusray kay nukta-e-nazar kay ehtram ka salikqa aae ga. Bahimi ehtraam ko ussi waqt farogh milay ga jab ham apnay undar ka shak door kar laiN gay. Ho sakta hai yeh hamari zindagiooN maiN na ho paye. Magar zindagi apni rawish ko yeh andaz dainay naiN zaroor kamayaab ho jaae gi.

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