Monday, Oct 25, 2004
Why And How I Left Smoking
Anand K Bhatt"I was born in 1944 in Lalooland. Did M.A. in Economics (Allahabad University) and later, on a sabbatical, did M.A. in Development Economics from Sussex University (U.K.). After putting in 34 years in the Indian Administrative Service, I put in my papers in 2003 when I was Additional Secretary to Govt. of India (working as Chairman, Forward Markets Commission, Govt. of India). Since 2003 I am Administrative Member in the Mumbai Bench of the Central Administrative Tribunal which is a body to look into the grievances of central government employees.
I belonged to Madya Pradesh cadre which is full of forests and wild life. I developed a keen interest in forests, trees and plants, both wild and ornamental. I was Divisional Commissioner in Bastar (now in Chhattisgarh) which has the largest area under forests in entire Madhya Pradesh and Chhattisgarh. I occasionally do some birdwatching as a hobby and like to read novels. I do try to write occasionally on anything which comes to my mind."
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"A personal journey into the decision I found most difficult to implement. Smoking had become an addiction and the story of what happened to me as a smoker, and how I went about overcoming the habit."
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I started smoking as a college student in the year of the Lord 1960. During undergraduate days I smoked 4-5 cigarettes a day. When I was appearing for my M.A. exam I was smoking about 10 cigarettes at night. And when I appeared for my civil services exam my smoking increased to about 20 a day.
In 1984 I was smoking about 40 cigarettes a day and when I finished the daily quota I switched on to pipe. In the meantime I tried to switch over to rolling my cigarettes but soon gave up as I found that I was spending most of my waking time in rolling cigarettes. Smoking became part of my life. If I was happy I smoked, if I was having blues I smoked, if I was in tension I smoked, if I was relaxed I smoked. I smoked before meal and naturally after the meal, I had a drink and I smoked, I went to the loo and I smoked.
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And then I started noticing things. I had ashtrays in all the rooms at home. I had 3 ashtrays in the office, one for myself, one for the guest, and one on the side table near the sofa. When I slept during the night, I dreamt that I was smoking. When I entered my office chamber in the morning, I could smell the stale smell of last evening. To remove the tar from the pipe, I used the cleaning wire with the satisfaction that tar was trapped in the stem of the pipe. Soon I was using a hand towel in addition for the purpose. If I laughed ( I did a few times during the day then!) I could not continue as midway through the laugh I started coughing. And I started panting after climbing a flight of stairs.
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I could not enjoy anything even mildly hot whether chat or a main dish. My tongue was always burnt.
And it started affecting my monthly budget. I tried to give up smoking twice. Each time I reverted back to old stage in case there was a deadline to be met in the office. At that time my target was coming down to 5-10 cigarettes a day. How innocent I was! Ultimately I decided to quit. I don’t remember now what was the last straw on the camel’s back. But I thought enough is enough.
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In retrospect let me recollect what steps I took:
- I had 2 tins of some aromatic Dutch pipe tobacco, and a few pouches of Indian tobacco. I went to one of my friends(Mr. Tiwari) and gave him all. Needless to say he was overwhelmed.
- Some packets of Rothmans which I got from abroad from one of my friends along with the current pack or two of unfinished cigarettes I gave to another friend of mine.
- I decided come what may I will not smoke a single cigarette in the day, however strong the urge.
- I also decide that I would not take another habit in its place likechewing tobacco, taking pan or zarda, or panbahar.
Let me recount what happened afterwards. First week was manageable. It was during the second week that all hell broke loose. I just couldn’t go on. I took leave from the office for the entire week. I was lying in bed for most of the time. I was tense and irritable. Something else happened and I don’t know whether it could be attributed entirely to anti-nicotine effect. I was on a two-wheeler after a tiff with a shopkeeper and I was hit by a car. I injured my backbone and I was in bed for 3 months. Doctors said that I was lucky that I had no permanent incapacity. And I had to go for a long term sabbatical to England which added to my tension. In retrospect I used to say in a lighter vein that it was a trip from bed to Brighton! Well, I did go, but with iron braces on my lower back and during my long tenure of 14 months in the firangiland I could never sleep on the normal springbed. I bought a sleeping bag, used it as a matteress and used to sleep on the carpet. The cigarette dispensers were strewn all around the university campus (and so were the condom dipensers!). Drop a pound coin and ping drops the pack. However, I did not smoke a single cigarette during my stay there.
Was it worth all the trouble? In retrospect I would say an emphatic yes. One of the effects which has now got me worried is the gain in weight as my appetite increased when I left smoking. I am an unhealthy 85 kg at 5’7”. But the other things are not there: the wheezing, the coughing, the loss of taste for good amd spicy food. Of course at only a couple of months away from completing 60, I have the ailments which come from a sedentary workplace and lifestyle and the common geriatric problems. But I am sure that I have been able to postpone or permanently banish any serious health problems. I have an artificial knee and a stent in one of the minor heart arteries, but I still consider that in the long run I am a gainer.
I take almost a sadistic delight in seeing banning of smoking in public places one by one. Now I do not worry about the rising prices of cigarettes in every budget. But I cannot stand sitting in front of a smoking man. No, I don’t mind the smoke and the smell. But I cannot bear the heartache and longing it brings. Oh for that long soothing drag!!
Photo Copyright © Ambika Bhatt.
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