Editorial Profiles Music & Art Mythology Book Reviews Humour Column Poetry US Round-up Prev Issue Next Issue

Wossip (Women gossip) - Suman Chopra Suman Chopra, is well known to Sawf readers for her no nonsense moderate view. Wife of a senior Air Force Officer currently based in Moscow, Suman periodically steals time from her family and social responsibilities to enrich the Sawf columns with her views.

As little kids we were repeatedly reminded by the parents and the teachers " Empty mind is a devils workshop", thus implying the need to keep one occupied constructively. But who hath not, once in a while, shared juicy tidbits with a close buddy. Gossip, the second oldest profession, may be defined as idle speculation, general talk or opinion of uncertain reliability. I would like to put it, 'giving wings to would be secrets', or fuelling silent ambers with audible winds. It all starts as a secret to be told to one person, - 'at a time'. The originators normally are the kind of people who regularly invite others by saying " If you haven't anything nice to say about anyone, come and sit with me". From here on if the talk was to walk, the Gossip flies. The story runs on wheels and every hand it passes, oils it.

The gossip has traditionally been associated with idling housewives who mastered the art of knitting and nitpicking, though some women-like-men also indulge in it. As Oscar Wilde said, "Women represent the triumph of matter over mind, just as men represent the triumph of mind over morals". An ancient African (Kanuri) proverb says, "If a woman speaks two words, take one and leave the other". Notwithstanding who indulges in gossip, for some reason, it is an established fact that 90% of the women gossip with women, and the men with men. The invention of telephone greatly enlarged the area of operation and shifted the sphere of gossip's influence from the sun-bathed rooftop to far off by-lanes of the city and even beyond. The saying goes that if men must walk a mile, the women must talk an hour - it is their exercise. Those who still wanted to indulge in mouth-to-mouth recitation, and wanted to press flesh and see facial expressions, invented the now famous ladies kitty party. Here the X-ray is converted into hearsay. There is a general feeling that women talk of who's who, and about who's whose. A recent survey revealed that in order of statistical priority, they talk about, a third woman, about a fourth woman, about a fifth woman, household irritants, servants (in Asia), shopping and clothes, recipes, and of course the men are attached as an appendix to all these. There is a saying that the years that a woman subtracts from her age are not lost. They are added to the ages of other women. Men have always detested women's gossip. US writer Erica Jong said "because they suspect the truth: their measurements are being taken and compared". Whenever I have been in women's company, there have been only two possibilities, either silence or scandal. Alcohol fuels gossip. As walls have ears, wine has a mouth.

Gossip is mostly associated with malicious content and intent. Meant to give cheap thrill in seeing someone else belittled or relatively lowered in esteem. As Mark Twain had written long ago, " It takes your enemy and friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart; the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you". And as Bertrand Russell said "No one gossips about other people's secret virtues". Unlike the rolling stone, the gossip gathers moth. The story gets it's twists and adds on.

There is that Arabic proverb; gossip of two women will destroy two houses. The havoc that gossip can cause may be more destructive than hurricane 'Mitch'. Most gossip is not verifiable. The few elements of truth are enough to convince and render respectability to the whole story. The suspicion that follows incites the wreaking 'get even' vengeance. Peace of many a home has been shattered by Gossip. Gossip related to an adulterous relationship of a spouse could be most hurting, both above and below the belt. Luckily today with folding up of joint families, and more and more women taking employment, the family breaking gossip has somewhat shifted to the office. Romance, office politics and pay packages are the new prattle, how nice.

Well, like every thing else, gossip too has its good side. Greatest thing about it is its access and penetration - it is within everyone's reach. It is undoubtedly the most interesting form of speech. It is the ultimate escape for the back room girls. Greatly relieves the load off their chests. Management Gurus are seriously working on this very influential interpersonal communication tool. Therefore there is no need for a knee jerk reaction. Fighting it could be counter productive. Try joining it and have fun. One tends to believe gossip more than the office circular. If intelligently handled, this mouth-to-mouth link, which is mobile, has emotions, and requires no pressing of buttons, could do wonders. Let us all in the SAWF community spread more friendly gossip, which tickles sensations, not hurts sensibility.

Till we connect again...

Start a discussion on this article