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Sudha Seshadri, a well known name in the world of literature, is a published writer and a freelance journalist from Mumbai, India. She was introduced to the wonderful nuances of art, architecture and culture when she worked at Marg Publications under Dr. Saryu Doshi. Her perceptions changed and she discovered a deep love for India and her traditions. As a writer and editor she hopes to disseminate the beauty, mystique, and philosophies of a nation that is over 5000 years old. India is like a “Bhul Bulaiyan,” or maze where each path/turn reveals a wonderful new facet. She believes that understanding India is understanding ourselves.

India is a nation that is one of the cradles of civilization – 5000 years old. Many of our traditions are descended from Vedic times. Although most of us believe that we are what we make of ourselves. Somewhere deep within us are roots that have actually contributed in some way to what we are today--the way we think, our tolerance towards others, or understanding of nature, appreciation of the beauty of the universe or deep seated philosophies.

Traditions and rituals we practice are unchanged and, an understanding of the shlokas /mantras, or propitiation of our gods will help us understand ourselves and our cultural roots wherever we are in the world today.

Marriage traditions in India among most communities, be they Hindu, Sikh, or Jain, come down from Vedic times and incorporate several social customs that are peculiar to a region or community. Grihastashrama was considered to be the third station of life and a very important one as it ensured continuity of lineage. In earlier times weddings were celebrated either at the home of the bride or in a temple precinct. A pandal or mandap would be constructed outside the house a few days before the wedding. Gaily decorated with festoons of mango leaves, and flowers, the pandal is constructed after the ritual planting of the “muhurtakal” which is done along with recitation of prayers and to the accompaniment of the shehanai or nadaswaram or the blowing of the conch. As in every other tradition, the first deity whose blessings and protection are invoked is that of lord Ganesha, followed by propitiation of the kula devatas ( family deities) and navagraha devatas ( the nine planets). Days ahead wafting fragrances permeate the home, sweets and savories are prepared, haldi and chandan are ground to beautify the bride, mehndi leaves are brought by giggling young girls running to and fro with tinkling anklets and bangles. Laughter, song, and devotion are mixed with anticipation as the wedding day draws near.

Weddings at one time were elaborate affairs of ten days – today, most weddings are planned over two days or sometimes just a day. What is the significance of the wedding ---it is love, devotion, mutual respect, and promises. The Vedic hymns are chanted and the names of the bride and groom along with three generations of ancestors are proclaimed aloud. The groom invokes Varuna , Indra, and Brihaspati requesting their blessings on the bride, “ May she live in harmony with my family, be an integral part of it as I am ….May she tread the path of the righteous, may she be blessed with children and good fortune.”

Most traditions, even today include the exchange of garlands by the bride and groom. Another ritual is the “Pani-Grahana,” or the grasping of the hand. The bridegroom stands facing east, while the bride, shy and demure in her bridal splendor stands before him facing west. The groom takes the brides hand saying, “O Sarasvati, rich in offspring, you whom we pray to, please bless this union.”

Each step of the ceremony symbolizes bonds and the union of souls and hearts. During the Asmarohana, treading of the stone, the groom urges his loved one, “be as firm as a rock …unperturbed by the trials and tribulations of life.” The Lajahoma, is a ceremony when the groom pours grains (puffed rice) into the brides cusped palms saying, “May this grain I pour into your hands This grain I spill into your hands unite you to me. I implore Lord Agni to be my witness.” Holding her hands he guides her to pour the grains as offerings into the burning fire – she seeks blessings for her groom and his entire family.

The circumambulation of the fire is considered to be the most significant of all rituals During the Agnipradikshana, the groom guides her around the fire asking Agni to unite them. The sapta padi (seven circumambulations), around the holy fire completes the rituals. The manthras say, “you who have walked these seven steps with me are my companion… to love , be a friend, share , be of one mind, and tread the path of life together. ..” After this, obeisance is paid to Agni who is the witness to the union. The first step is said to be for vigor, the second for vitality, the third for prosperity, the fourth for happiness, the fifth for cattle, the sixth for the seasons, the seventh for friendship and devotion to one another. After the seventh step the groom makes her remain where she is and says: "With seven steps we become friends. Let me reach your friendship. Let me not be severed from your friendship. Let your friendship not be severed from me."

The Griha pravesham ceremony signifies the entry of the bride into her new home carrying with her a pot containing the “wedding fire”. At sunset looking at the pole star and in some traditions Arundati and the Sapta Rishis the groom urges her, “ be as firm as the star we are looking at Brihaspati has given you to me so live with me for a hundred years and more .”

Thus although details such as attire and minor practices vary the core of the ceremony signifies the same thing union in the eyes of god. Ancient texts called the Smritis recognized eight kinds of marriage: Paishacha, Rakshasa, Gandharva, Asura, Prajapatya, Arsha, Daiva, and Brahma. Brahma was considered the highest form and the purest. In this the girl was given in marriage by her father to a man of learning, character, and good faith. What is largely prevalent today is the “Brahma,” wedding, although like all else in life wedding traditions have been over the years transformed and adapted to suit the needs of the people.

Just as a wedding ring worn on the left hand symbolizes marriage in the west for Indians it is the mangalsutra, thread of auspiciousness. It is tied by the groom after the circumambulation of the fire and worn throughout a bride’s life. Historically, the tradition seems to have originated in the 5th - 6th century CE. And, different regions of India and different communities have varied versions of the mangalsutra or taali. Some wear it on a yellow thread, others on a thick gold chain, yet others have black beads strung together with two “vatis” representing the union of two strung at the end. Some have diamond pendants while others have coral beads -- the design really depends upon the family traditions. And, often the taali is elaborately crafted with representations of the family deity—Shiva, goddess Sri, the tulsi, or the emblems of Vishnu and so on. Emotionally, the taali / mangalsutra binds the bride to her groom, and during the year several days are devoted to praying for his longevity, protection, and safe being – vat savitri, kadva chaut, and normbu just to name a few. Women fast and propitiate different gods for the well being of their husbands.

Marriage is not just a ritual it bonds together two souls and minds.

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