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Defining Feminine By - Rina Mukherji Rina Mukherji has spent more than one a half decades (17 years to be precise) in the Indian print media. She has written on practically every topic under the sun- business, politics, science, gender issues, child rights, the environment, films, literature, public health and human rights so far. She has worked for several national newspapers in Mumbai and Kolkata, and freelanced for nearly all major newspapers and magazines in the country. She also holds a doctorate in African Studies, and has several academic articles to her credit

The other day, a dear friend went on to say, “ You are so spirited- just like a man.” And no, it was not a sarcastic remark. It was meant to be a compliment! Time and again, I have heard my husband tell me in a pensive mood. “You should have been a man. You are so intelligent and talented. You would have enjoyed life. Women do not get their due in this country.” Sure, men can be expected to say such things. But how would you react to women saying, “Gosh, she is as good as a man. Look at the way she handles every situation So well-informed, so efficient, so astute and precise-just like a man. She is hardly a woman.”

As if being intelligent, talented, precise, and efficient were qualities only men could be attributed to have. If a woman is spirited, she is looked on as unfeminine, and untrue to womanhood. Extrapolating on this- none of us can be feminine unless we are muddle-headed, stupid, dumb, inefficient, and imprecise in communicating to the world..

What’s more, the feminist movement – Germaine Greer and Ms magazine have actually gone on to add to this in a peculiar manner altogether.

By insisting on going braless, by looking down on the nurturing values of womanhood, the movement has gone on to talk of equality by cultivating the image of manliness. As if there was something terribly wrong in being our-selves.

Pray, why does a career woman and a professional have to pretend she cannot stand the idea of cooking, keeping house, or nurturing her brood to be taken seriously at her job? Thankfully, management pundits have now come to appreciate the basic womanly instincts and the advantages they give a lady in any corporate organization where handling people are concerned.

Yes, a woman should demand that her husband share in all her responsibilities as an equal partner. But enjoying these duties herself as the mistress of her home and a mother in no way demeans her status. In fact, if anything, it only enhances her position in the bargain.

Neither does being equal mean giving in to the lure of casual relationships a la men. Being a woman-to me-means being proud of being yourself. Your appearance, your looks matter. You ought to take pains to look good. Not to the world, but yourself. Following a fitness regimen can enhance your health and help you lead a long and disease-free life. It can also help you put in longer hours at that job you want to excel at.

If you love cooking, nurturing and keeping a lovely house, do so! It is wonderfully relaxing to come home to an immaculate place to lounge in after a hard day’s work.

Relationships are important, and we women excel in these. There is no need to give in to casual affairs, just because men may do so.

A stable relationship is important, and not just for women. Why should women and men not work towards a happy, stable marriage rather than a host of transitory, fleeting affairs? Of course, if a relationship cannot be worked on, be done with it. It is important to accept reality and start life all over again.

Be rational, and logical. That is what being a woman is all about.

All those advocates of feminine behaviour who keep saying -A woman should be seen and not heard have obviously not known that-The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.

Being a woman is a privilege. Let us prove it to be so!

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