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Bridal Registries Saves Time and Hassle Melvin Durai Melvin Durai is a Pennsylvania-based writer and humorist. Born in Tamil Nadu, India, he grew up in Zambia and moved to the U.S. in the early 1980s. In 1995, while working as a reporter for a daily newspaper in Chambersburg, Pa., he began writing a regular humor column. His weekly column now appears in several newspapers and on a number of Web sites. He also writes a twice-monthly column on Indian and Indian-American issues. He is a diehard fan of the National Football League and also likes to run, lift weights and play soccer, tennis and pool. An award-winning feature writer and aspiring novelist, he plans to publish a collection of his best columns. You can write to him at comments@melvindurai.com To read his older columns, go to http://www.humor.melvin.com

Some years ago, I was invited to a wedding and heard that the couple had registered for gifts at a department store. I was appalled. "You mean they're actually telling us what gifts to bring to their wedding?" I asked a friend. "Well, can we tell them what food to serve at their reception? I'd really like to have some prime rib. And maybe some caviar, too."

A bridal registry seemed so presumptuous, so tacky. It was like saying to your guests, "We're glad you're coming to our wedding. We assume you'll bring a nice gift, as all good guests do. We've made a list of items we'd like to receive, items you can buy at the store of our choice. We've done this for two reasons: (1) You have no idea what we need. (2) You have no idea what's in style. You'd better hurry to the store. The cheap gifts are going fast."

I couldn't imagine my future bride and I registering for gifts. I was sure it would ruin the suspense. I wanted to have a few surprises after the wedding and not just on the wedding night. I was looking forward to unwrapping gifts with my bride and saying, "Sweetheart, look at this great gift my friend Ted bought us! An electric can opener! We could really use that, especially if we break the other two we own. And what about this great gift your friend Sarah gave us! An electric can opener! We could really use that, especially when we have a yard sale."

I knew we'd end up with a few gifts we didn't like, from all those people who are gift-challenged. And if we didn't want to lie, we'd have to be really creative in our thank-you cards. "Dear Aunt Rachel, thank you so much for that incomparable music collection 'The Best of Shaquille O'Neal.' We've never heard anything quite like it. It's so touching, it makes us want to cry. In fact, we cried as soon as we opened the package."

My initial opposition to bridal registries subsided as soon as I bought something from a registry. It was so easy, so convenient. In less than 10 minutes, I had selected a nice gift. And when a store employee offered to wrap the gift for free, I was suddenly in love with bridal registries. "What a great idea," I thought. "I get to spend less time shopping, they get the gift they want, and someone else gets to do the wrapping. I wonder if I can get someone else to attend the wedding."

Now that my wedding is approaching, I'm eager to offer the same convenience to my guests. That's why my fiancee, Malathi, and I registered for gifts at two stores. We would have registered at three, but Malathi didn't think I should register for food. Not even caviar.

Malathi was so excited about selecting gifts, you'd think she had won a shopping spree. She didn't stop smiling, even when her future husband, being a typical man, selected a kitchen appliance that was the WRONG COLOR.

I was excited, too, knowing that Malathi would select some great gifts. I didn't want to spend my first year of marriage at the returns counter.

The idea of registering gifts has grown on me so much, I'm thinking of registering all my birthday gifts. Perhaps even my Christmas gifts. I'll just send a polite note to my friends: "I've registered for a set of great gifts I've always wanted, gifts that are guaranteed to make me happy. You can find them all at Victoria's Secret. No, I haven't turned into a cross-dresser. Any lingerie you buy will be worn only by my bride. I promise. But trust me -- they're gifts for me. It took a lot of effort to decide what I want. But you know me -- I'd do anything to make life easier for you. That's why I didn't complain about spending 12 hours scanning the Victoria's Secret catalogue. That's the kind of unselfish guy I am. A guy who deserves lots of gifts. Remember: It is better to give than to receive."

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