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The 'evening' of life... By- Raj Shekar A Delhi, army-kid education, the genteel idealistic seventies (plus-minus) and a professional Architecture degree, marriages, kids (three) and friends that go back decades were my assorted teachers. Relationships (+?+), Reading (anything plus Russell, Rand and Richard Bach my three rrr's), travel, amateur astronomy, music (all kinds), The Net and technology at the edges .... my interests. In essence I am but an empathising observer and sometimes....a participant willing and otherwise. It is 'life' that provides me with fresh insights, rehashed ones and the panorama of 'detail'. Intrinsic in it are its 'true' depth and structure which I attempt to reflect. My conveyence-expousing-expression of the same is as everything else subject to Godels limits.,, and mine the day I stop 'learning'.

And
the day had passed
as life unwound its years
and in contemplation
I whiled my time
and waited
not so anxiously
for the night
to envelop me
in its shroud.....

The many dawns of
new days
new experiences
I recalled
the ones that
thrived in fullfilled hopes
and the gloomy ones
deluded and deluged
with my tears
they all flashed before
me as I relished the flow of 'memories'
savoured each
unreeling.....

And the day grew cold
as night took wing
and I looked back at the 'past' below
just twinkles in the darkness
like the future above
a sky so full of stars
and I watched....loom before me
an unfettered journey
of the now bodyless soul
freed from the mortal chains
and chores
to a plane
an 'existence' now spiritual perhaps....

Most faiths
they told me
that I'd meet my maker
My sins paid for
in an everafter
That I'd watch my children
of body....and of mind
grow in the world I leave
a benign eye
benevolent in its outlook
perhaps my 'family'
before me
do the same...and I call that
my good fortune....

How much I wish
in that engulfing
cloying darkness
that this be right
this view...
yet logic tells me
that such a thing
needs to be
proven as yet, as 'true'.
but I force the issue
a failing heart
in its last throes
thudding out the morse
the message
of my coming
of impending arrival or departure
from the day
that pulsed and drove
so much.....

And with a start
I awake
from
the questions
lapping at my minds feet
drawing me to its depth
my sanity on check here
and my hopes
and the prayer
and good deeds
my muted witness
in this trial,
in the evening
of my life.....

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