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Indian Bidis Attract too Many Teens Melvin Durai Melvin Durai is a Pennsylvania-based writer and humorist. Born in Tamil Nadu, India, he grew up in Zambia and moved to the U.S. in the early 1980s. In 1995, while working as a reporter for a daily newspaper in Chambersburg, Pa., he began writing a regular humor column. His weekly column now appears in several newspapers and on a number of Web sites. He also writes a twice-monthly column on Indian and Indian-American issues. He is a diehard fan of the National Football League and also likes to run, lift weights and play soccer, tennis and pool. An award-winning feature writer and aspiring novelist, he plans to publish a collection of his best columns. You can write to him at comments@melvindurai.com To read his older columns, go to http://www.humor.melvin.com

As a native of India, I'm usually excited to see an Indian product in an American store, whether it's a shirt, a rug or a pair of sandals. I'd even be excited to see a fruitcake from India -- other than myself. It makes me proud to know that the world's most populous democracy can be immensely productive, not just reproductive.

But there's one Indian product I'd rather not see in America. It's called a bidi and is considered somewhat dangerous, which of course makes it quite popular among teenagers. Bidis (pronounced bee-dees and hipper than the Bee Gees) are hand-rolled, tapered cigarettes that look like marijuana joints. They have no filters and, according to the Atlanta-based Centers of Disease Control and Prevention, contain higher levels of tar, nicotine and carbon monoxide than regular cigarettes. That means that if bidis start dominating the tobacco market, we may see ads that say, "Give your lungs a break. Smoke a few Marlboros."

A 1999 CDC survey of 642 Massachusetts youths found that 40 percent had smoked bidis. Bidis appeal to teens not only because they're less expensive than regular cigarettes, but also because they come in a variety of flavors, including mint, wild cherry, grape and mango. Sorry, no sour cream and onion. If I were a smoker, I'd be tempted to try the mango. I love everything mango: mango juice, mango ice cream, Mango on "Saturday Night Live." I wish I could buy other mango products, such as mango milk, mango bread and mango pizza. If Al Gore pledged to make mangoes the national fruit, I'd campaign for him.

It's a good thing mango bidis weren't around when I was a teen. Some of my friends tried to entice me with regular cigarettes, but I resisted, largely because I was afraid to die. Yes, there was no doubt in my mind that if I smoked, my mother would kill me. I'd be the first member of my family to be spanked to death. I didn't need the Surgeon General's warning -- I had the Parent General's warning: "Smoking cigarettes will result in great pain to several body parts, including your butt. You will not be able to sit for years. You may have to sleep standing up."

I'm grateful that my mother forbade me to smoke. She saved me not just health problems, but also the regular expense of buying cigarettes. I'm better off spending my money on more rewarding activities, such as eating mangoes. Mango-flavored or not, bidis are worth avoiding, partly because they're often made by children, some earning as little as 15 cents a day to roll 1,000 bidis. I'm against any type of child labor, unless the child happens to be washing my car.

I can't stand the thought of children slaving for a measly wage. They'd probably make more money standing on a street corner in India, selling the latest style of bikinis.

Because of the health risks, bidis have been banned in some parts of America, including Warren, Mich., and Chicago. Bidi companies, of course, are reluctant to acknowledge the risks. According to the Kansas City Star, one large bidi maker recently stated on its Web site that bidis have less tobacco and are "healthier than cigarettes." Now that's a great selling point -- "healthier than cigarettes." Maybe they should rent billboards for their message: "Smoke bidis instead of cigarettes. You'll enjoy the taste and you'll live a few days longer."

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