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Dear Chaanakya:

First, let me bow to you, the great political thinker who made history by helping start the Maurya Dynasty, the great prime minister to King Chandragupta Maurya, the author of Arthashastra and Chaanakyaneeti. Your ethics have had a profound effect on the people of my culture. Your observations have become the often quoted proverbs in our daily lives, and often rightfully so. Second, I ask your forgiveness for this intrusion and interrogation. But please read, I do have a good reason.

Strange that a woman would write an open letter to you twenty-five centuries after your time. And what's the use of writing to a dead man? A practical man like you would laugh and say that only a fool would carry on such a useless act. But you see, my feelings toward your work (like the works of many other great men of old times) are mixed. I do admire your insight and sound, practical advice on many matters. They do make sense and do apply to me often, even though not intended for me. But I have problems with some of your work and that is the focus of this letter. I must point out that some of the statements about my gender in your neeti seem far-fetched, unrealistic, and inconsistent, quite a contrast to the rest of your work.. But what really bothers me is how these twenty-five-centuries-old attitudes toward my gender are still lurking around in our society. So I challenge you to come back to earth, and this time, please take a female form so that you can take a fresh new look at a few of your shlokas from a different perspective and create a revised edition.

Which ones? Well, let's start from the ones, where you define the characteristics of this animal called woman that you find to be remarkably different from man.

Streenaam dviguna aahaaro lajjaa chaapi chaturgunaa
Saahasam shadgunam chaiva kaamashchaashtagunah smritah

Women have twice as much appetite, four times more shyness, six times more courage, and eight times more sexual desire.

How did you come to this conclusion? What kinds of experiments did you perform? How did you collect, measure, and interpret your data? Did you take poetic license in expressing your opinion? Or perhaps you borrowed this wisdom from the works of your predecessors, from another smriti?

Do people do certain things because they believe in famous authority figures on morality, like you? Some men deliberately make sexual advances toward women or girls against the wishes of the women and later the victims are blamed for provocation. The unwelcome harassment or assault is often rationalized and blamed on the victim; she wants it anyway, she asked for it silently through her clothes, looks, or presence. If the woman says 'no' still it is interpreted not as her lack of consent but as her shyness. After the act, the woman's feelings are ignored with a 'she likes it' presumption. I wonder why this is the case. Is this insensitivity coming from prejudices planted centuries ago and handed down?

Also, one finds some men to be extremely jealous. Such a man can't put his mind on anything when his wife is out of his sight or control. He has to constantly check on her. Where is she? What is she doing? What is she wearing? Who is she talking to? Is she cheating? He cannot trust her. This irrational behavior may be an effect of a belief similar to yours. If a woman indeed had uncontrollable sexual desire of extraordinary heights, eight times higher than man's, man is likely to feel insecure and threatened.

And how about this one?

Anritam saahasam maayaa moorkhatvamatilobhataa
Ashauchatvam nirdayatvam streenaam doshah swabhavajaah

By nature, a woman is deceitful, courageous, illusive, foolish, greedy, impious and cruel.

God! What men have to put up with just to be able to procreate! One would certainly want to keep a safe distance from such creatures as one would from predators. It certainly would be easy to rationalize the act of eliminating someone of the above description when the need (for recreation or procreation) was over. But why did mother nature create such a creature? Or was it a creation of people like you as a desperate measure to get young men to stay in school and not think about girls? Did it work? If you come back you will find that dropout is still a problem.

I remember a folk tale where a man starts believing that a goat is really a dog after three guys who wanted his goat told him one by one at different places and times that he had a nice dog. The man left his goat-turned-dog in care of the third cheat. If telling a lie three times can be persuasive, imagine the power of something old and sacred that has been told again and again for twenty-five centuries or more. Every Indian girl knows that she is 'just' a girl, a good enough reason for many questions she asks. If her parents did not tell her, the relatives, friends, neighbors, teachers, books, songs, movies will. As she grows she finds slowly what 'just' means. But you have spelled it all out here clearly.

Modern scientists are doing research on human genes that carry the code for our gender and other attributes. But they haven't yet found the link between the gender and the attributes you have mentioned. Technology is available however to separate the male gene from the female in a fertilized egg, the good from the bad, the useful from the useless, as some might say. In our country, parents are now able to selectively eliminate these bad natured female humans in an easy way and the tribe of the good guys is increasing.

Please, don't get me wrong, I am not blaming you for the attitudes toward women today in our society. I can't, no matter how foolish and cruel I may be according to your definition. But attitudes seem to be rooted in cultures and old attitudes die hard. as I reread some of your work I marvel at the depth of these attitudes and it throws some light on why they still persist under the subconscious minds of apparently educated and broad minded people. Womankind of today struggles with this giant attitude tree that has rooted through every cell of our bodies into its invisible sheaths and can't be pulled out like a little weed. We can use all the courage you have granted us. Thanks.

Yesterday, I was listening to a song from my teen days. Nice, easy, pleasant tune, the kind that tends to get stuck in the ear. It starts out on a happy note. Someone is looking at a cute baby girl and admiring its innocent beauty. I was surprised that someone isn't crying or sighing that it is a girl and not a boy. But the sigh came in the second stanza -- how beautiful she would be when she grows up tomorrow and how many hearts of young men she is going to burn with the fire of her beauty. And in the third stanza, she is going to be a bride in someone's home lighting it up with her looks and how some lucky man is going to get her sweet love. And I stammer, b-b-but what about her childhood, and education? And who is she as a person? Does anyone care about any of her attributes that aren't related to her looks? Why is it that when a boy is born people are thinking about his education and when a girl is born they are thinking about her marriage? And your wise words were lying next to my music system like a 'because'. Satkule yojayet kanyam putram vidyasu yojayet. Marry your daughter into a noble family and employ your son in studies. Of course! The right investment or insurance for the right gender. Perhaps appropriate for your time. Even today, dutiful Indian parents take these very important steps to ensure happiness for their children they love, boy or girl. But is this insurance paying? Please come and see for yourself.

And here is one where I really need your help.

Saa bhaaryaa yaa shuchirdakshaa saa bhaaryaa yaa patibrataa
Saa bhaaryaa yaa patipreetaa saa bhaaryaa satyavaadinee

She is the true wife who is pious, faithful and deft in her duties toward her husband, who is loving toward her husband, and is truthful.

Tell me, how a woman who is by your definition, impious, deceitful, and cruel by nature turn just the opposite that is required of a true wife? By her illusory power? Or are you implying that no woman can be a true wife? But she must marry! What a dilemma! And then your advice for a husband is to leave a wife who speaks with anger. Tyajet krodhamukheem bhaaryaa. Wouldn't she be angry and frustrated if she has to go against her very nature? And then if she should be left alone why marry her in the first place? Is it for a noble and charitable act on the part of a man for her salvation? Because according to you, streeyo nashtaa hyabhartrikaa, without a husband a woman gets destroyed or amaithunam jaraa streenaam, a woman ages without sex?

But then you are also very confident that a woman can do anything. Kim na kurvanti yoshitaah. After all, what the mythological women haven't done? Seeta has entered fire to prove her chastity, walked alone into the forest to give birth to twins, and rejected her husband when humiliated. Saavitri has argued face to face with Death and won her husband's life. Droupadi has put up with five husbands she did not want, has fought alone against assault and harassment in a crowded but mute royal court, and taken revenge wildly. But if woman can do anything, why can't she take care of herself?

You say, she can very well teach the art of deceiving. Streebhyah shiksheta kaitavam. Is that the job she would get after trying to go against her nature to be a good wife, failing miserably at it, getting frustrated and saying something in anger, and as a consequence being discarded by her husband?

Or may be here is what you mean when you say she can do anything.

Jalpanti saarddhamanyena pashyantyanyam sabibhramah
Hridaye chintayantyanyam na streenaamekato ratih

Women have a knack of talking to one man, casting an askew glance at another and loving secretly a third person. They cannot devotedly love just one man.

And what about man? Poor, helpless, powerless creature who just suffers under the illusory power of woman.

Yo mohaanmanyate moodho rakteyam mayi kaaminee
Sa tasyaa vashago bhrityaa nrityetkreedaashakuntavat

When a man falls in love of a woman she makes him a puppet and makes him dance according to her wish.

I really don't understand why you are so afraid of woman. It just doesn't suit someone of your stature. Western psychology may find various reasons but I am not interested in those. If you do come back to earth as a woman you may experience something very different. Sometimes I wish everyone could live as the opposite sex for a few months. I was watching an old movie the other day where a reporter wanted to write a story on antisemitism and he realized that the only way he could find out how it feels to be treated as a Jew is to be one. So he tells people that he is a Jew, and his life changes as people treat him differently. If people could live someone else's life for a while, they probably would be less judgmental about others and would have less to fear one another. Perhaps even you would be more understanding of woman, who appears to you so powerful. Perhaps you would realize that on some of your verses without knowing it you are describing the hostile environment in which many women live.

Yasmindeshe na sammano na vrittirna cha baandhavah
Na cha vidyagamopyasti vaasam tatra na kaarayet

One should not live where one may not get any respect, where one can't earn a livelihood, has no relatives or friends, and there is no chance of acquiring knowledge.

For many women that place is none other than their home, where a noble lady should remain, stree divyaa shobhate grihe, and must not leave because stree bhramanti vinashyati, a roving woman is doomed. These views of yours are widely shared by people of our culture even today, leading to a big dilemma for women who can neither live in their homes nor leave it.

So what do you say? Would you come back and help us out? You may enjoy using a computer for your work, and you may find many new things to write about as many things have changed in twenty-five centuries even though some of your truths as well as attitudes haven't. You can travel by air to all the places far east and even west your work has traveled and a laptop can be arranged if you prefer.

You see, some of us have been trying to make this world peaceful, starting with our homes, streets, and work places. And even you, with all your accusations, throw in a ray of hope for us that I must not forget to mention. In your own words, bhaaryaa mitram griheshu cha, in the home, wife is one's best friend. Friendship requires equality. You have also said that one must be satisfied with his wife, food, and money, santoshastrishu kartavyah swadaare bhojane dhane. And satisfaction requires acceptance. You also say, shantitulyam taponaasti na santoshatparam sukham, no penance is greater than the act of maintaining peace and no happiness is better than satisfaction. So, you see, there is a common denominator to our differing views. Perhaps we can discuss how friendship and acceptance could be nurtured for the sake of satisfaction and peace, against all odds. I sincerely hope that you will seriously consider my invitation.

With regards,

A woman from early twenty-first century

P.S. This letter is not an illusion.

Reference:

Saheli is an all-volunteer non-profit support and advocacy organization for Asian families in Austin, Texas. Saheli's mission is to help victims and survivors of domestic violence to heal, and empower them to make choices for a life free of abuse. We spread awareness of various forms of oppression against women and children through community outreach and education. We form a bridge between the Asian community and local services to cross the culture gap. Saheli's vision is to work toward preventing abuse in family relationships, to break the cycle of violence and pursue a cycle of peace. For more information about Saheli, visit www.main.org/saheli
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