Monday, Aug 22, 2005
How To Keep Marriage On A Positive Track -Staying Together Through Life’s Challenges
Neelam Gupta
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Keeping a marriage happy can be hard work -- no matter how long you’ve been together. Add in health issues that often arise with age, and the challenge is even greater.
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Last week I read a report on SAWF Mom, Pop and kids lose out to single home alones in US The reports says in 2000, 27 million Americans were living alone, an increase of 4.8 million or 21 percent on the figures over the previous time the census was conducted in 1990. Meanwhile, 24.5 million Americans were living with a spouse and one or more children, according to the figures, a drop of 1.7 percent or 420,000 people.
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My friend just returned from her summer vacation in Andhra Pradesh in India. she was visiting her home place after 5 years and it shocked her to see the changes in her community back home. Divorces and separations are happening at a much faster pace. Society is accepting divorces with more ease than before. In some cases she felt things could have been worked out between the couple but perhaps they did not have any one for guidance.
The August issue of Mayo Clinic Health Letter offers suggestions to keep marriage on a positive track, whatever the source of conflict.
Keep communication positive. Patterns of communication -- likely firmly established if you’ve been married a long time -- sometimes don’t reflect the caring that couples feel for each other. Ask yourself, “Are we as respectful to each other as we would be to a stranger?” If not, you’ll want to work on your communication skills by making a daily habit of being cordial and polite, choosing words with care.
Recognize when a health issue is affecting your marriage. Memory loss, chronic pain, limited mobility, hearing loss and other health conditions can affect your relationship. Sometimes solutions are straightforward -- for instance, a hearing aid. Sometimes, more far-reaching solutions are needed, such as moving into a one-level home or retirement community.
Get help when you need it. If you’re in a long-lasting marriage, for better or worse, you care for each other in a deep and meaningful way. If the going gets difficult, seek out help through community resources, a therapist, your family doctor or at your place of worship.
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