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Dying To Watch An Indian Show Melvin Durai Melvin Durai is an Indiana-based writer and humorist. Born in Tamil Nadu, India, he grew up in Zambia and moved to the U.S. in the early 1980s. In 1995, while working as a reporter for a daily newspaper in Chambersburg, Pa., he began writing a regular humor column. His weekly column now appears in several newspapers and on a number of Web sites. He also writes a twice-monthly column on Indian and Indian-American issues. He is a diehard fan of the National Football League and also likes to run, lift weights and play soccer, tennis and pool. An award-winning feature writer and aspiring novelist, he plans to publish a collection of his best columns. You can write to him at comments@melvindurai.com To read his older columns, go to http://www.melvindurai.com

I had never heard of the hit British comedy series "The Kumars at No 42," but according to a BBC article, it features an Indian family. That itself is enough to excite me, for I hardly ever get to see Indians on American television, except when CNN shows them rioting.

Sure, a few Indian actors have recently appeared on prime-time shows, but that hardly compensates for all those years of neglect, when deprived Indians had to resort to watching "The Simpsons" and praying for an appearance by Apu. (The "Apu takes a bride" episode still stands as the greatest Indian moment on American TV. In second place: "Apu almost gets deported," an episode that inspired thousands of Indian-Americans to become immigration lawyers.)

Wouldn't it be great to watch a show that revolves around Indian characters, focusing on their everyday lives, not just their weddings and immigration woes? After all, Indian-Americans, one of the fastest growing ethnic groups, are almost two million strong -- and not all of them spend their nights watching Bollywood movies. (Some spend their days.)

But the TV networks have not only overlooked the Indian market, they've given little representation to Asians as a whole. Rather than putting one Asian show on prime-time TV, CBS prefers two versions of the news magazine "60 Minutes," NBC prefers three versions of the drama "Law & Order," and ABC prefers four versions of the ongoing mystery "Where's Osama hiding today?"

Meanwhile, "The Kumars at No 42," starring Sanjeev Bhaskar, is a cult success in Britain, the BBC article says. Bhaskar acts as a talk show host whose studio is attached to his family's house, allowing his parents and grandmother to interrogate his guests, mostly real-life British celebrities whom Americans have never heard of.

As I read the article on "The Kumars," I am surprised to learn that NBC has purchased the U.S. screen rights to the show's idea, outbidding Fox. At first, I can't believe my eyes. Surely there must be a misprint. Surely NBC isn't interested in a show that features Indians, especially since the Indians spend most of their time talking, not doing something immoral or illegal. How in heaven's name does NBC expect to attract younger viewers?

But it's true: NBC has bought the rights to the show and doesn't plan to turn the Kumars into a group of oversexed villains. Instead -- and here's the part that infuriates me -- NBC plans to turn them into Mexican-Americans. Yes, the U.S. version of "The Kumars" may be known as "The Kumaros."

You want to know what I think of NBC's idea? I think it stinks. I have nothing against Mexican-Americans, but if the show works in Britain with Indians, why not try it in America with Indians, too? Why deprive Vijay Amritraj of another acting opportunity?

Granted, Mexican-Americans outnumber Indian-Americans, but who says ALL Americans wouldn't be interested in watching a show that features Indians? After all, "Seinfeld," my favorite sitcom, attracted a diverse audience, not just Jewish-Americans. And "Roseanne," another successful comedy, appealed to almost everyone, not just fat people.

Whenever the U.S. version of "The Kumars" is televised -- perhaps in a year or two -- I can guarantee you one thing: I won't be watching.

Hey, someone has to protest.

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