Monday, June 11 2001
Motherly Dogma Is Suspect
By- Shubh BalaShubh is a social worker, a poet, and a painter. She lives in Austin, Texas.
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There is one thing certain:
Nothing is certain.
Since probability is the only certainty
Certainty is certainly an illusion.
Personally, growing up was a mystery
Wrapped up with unanswerable questions.
Timidity and my kind of ignorance
Yearned for facts and understanding.
Questioning authority in my social system
Was taboo.
Unwritten laws passed from time to time
Without even allowing questioning or doubt.
On reaching puberty, I was haunted and scared
And the unknown frightened me.
My mother noticed it vaguely and dismissed
My problem with a flippant,
"That's life.
listen carefully to my age-old advice.
Stay away from boys.
A mere touch will make you pregnant."
Touching? Mere touching?
My head spun, sending me into panic and doubt.
I kept on saying, "A mere touch?"
That very word unnerved me.
One day on the city bus some man
Pushed me aside while getting down.
Terror gripped me.
Could his touch bring a curse on me?
Coming home I pressed and felt my tummy;
Tied a scarf around the waist tightly.
Crying "I don't want to have a baby!
I don't want to have a baby!"
Alas, isn't it true that half of our
Unfounded fears arise from false "certainties"?
Questions from the editor:
How informed were you regarding facts of life when you were growing up?
At what age and how did you learn about facts of life? From friends, from a parent, sibling, or a close relative, from school, or by independent reading?
How do you feel about sex education in schools? Some people feel that sex education in public schools is necessary for children for various reasons: to understand physical changes in the body during puberty, to prevent sexual abuse, and to make healthy choices such as preventing pregnancy. Others argue that it takes away innocence and gives unnecessary information too early. People also differ in their opinions about who should provide information to a child about the facts of life, family or school.
Saheli is an all-volunteer non-profit support and advocacy organization for Asian families in Austin, Texas. Saheli's mission is to help victims and survivors of domestic violence to heal, and empower them to make choices for a life free of abuse. We spread awareness of various forms of oppression against women and children through community outreach and education. We form a bridge between the Asian community and local services to cross the culture gap. Saheli's vision is to work toward preventing abuse in family relationships, to break the cycle of violence and pursue a cycle of peace. For more information about Saheli, visit www.main.org/saheli
To contact us call (512) 703-8745
or send e-mail to: saheli@usa.net
Opinions expressed in this column are those of the authors alone.
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