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Exploring The Mind Of A Teen-ager Melvin Durai Melvin Durai is an Indiana-based writer and humorist. Born in Tamil Nadu, India, he grew up in Zambia and moved to the U.S. in the early 1980s. In 1995, while working as a reporter for a daily newspaper in Chambersburg, Pa., he began writing a regular humor column. His weekly column now appears in several newspapers and on a number of Web sites. He also writes a twice-monthly column on Indian and Indian-American issues. He is a diehard fan of the National Football League and also likes to run, lift weights and play soccer, tennis and pool. An award-winning feature writer and aspiring novelist, he plans to publish a collection of his best columns. You can write to him at comments@melvindurai.com To read his older columns, go to http://www.melvindurai.com

My sister-in-law, Manessa, recently spent her holidays with us, giving me a rare glimpse into the mind of a teen-ager. What an experience. I may never find Stephen King novels scary again.

Manessa is only 15, a tenth-grader in Chennai. My wife, Malathi, and I are more than twice her age, which makes us -- in her eyes -- as old as the Taj Mahal. Certainly old enough to remember Salman Rushdie's hair.

Until Manessa's latest trip to America, I didn't know much about her life in India, despite our regular Internet chats:

Me: "I heard that you did well in your last math exam."

Manessa: "Ahuh."

Me: "Congrats! Did you study hard or was it an easy exam?"

Manessa: "Ahuh."

Me: "What do you mean 'ahuh'? You didn't answer my question!!!"

Manessa: "Ahuh."

Me: "You really need to work on your vocabulary."

Manessa: "Ahuh."

I enjoy chatting with her, but I've had deeper conversations, fairly often, with my parakeet. So you can imagine my surprise when Manessa arrived at Chicago airport and started using words that can actually be found in a dictionary.

I was just as surprised a few days later when she agreed to play Scrabble with Malathi and I, even after I emphasized that the rules do not allow words such as "ahuh." Perhaps she realized that she could make a number of simpler words, including "ah," "eh," and "uh."

After a few false steps, such as asking if we could play "Scramble" again, she began to amaze me, unleashing the full range of her vocabulary, including a string of three-letter words. "Cat," "hat" and "mat" -- they all rushed out in a sudden display of her hidden intellect.

Then, when we thought we had seen it all, she shocked us with a seven-letter word (bending), using all her tiles, earning a 50-point bonus, and winning the first of several games. I didn't know what had happened. Did she suddenly decide to shift her brain to a higher gear? If so, I could only imagine what our future conversations would be like:

Me: "I heard that you did well in the math exam."

Manessa: "Incontrovertibly."

Me: "Huh?"

Manessa: "Irrefutably."

Me: "Huh?"

Playing Scrabble against a teen-ager apparently didn't give me enough thrills, for I decided to join her in a more daring activity: shopping. She needed a pair of shoes and I volunteered to drive her to the mall. I don't know what I was thinking.

It was a major challenge for two reasons. Firstly we had to find a pair of shoes that Manessa liked. I never realized how many different types of women's shoes there are -- and how many of them are unsuitable for a teen-ager.

Secondly, we had to find a pair that big sister Malathi would approve. Getting two women to agree on a pair of shoes is like getting India and Pakistan to agree on Kashmir. It's near impossible.

Me: "Do you like this pair?"

Manessa: "Ahuh. But my sister won't."

Me: "Do you like that pair?"

Manessa: "Nah. But my sister would."

We ended up buying two pairs of shoes -- and Manessa was thrilled with the purchase. So thrilled, she was singing on the way home.

It's too bad we had to return them.

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