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Generation Gap - A Product of the New Economy - Nitila Natarajan I spent my early childhood in Mauritius, then Mumbai. Finished my graduation from Stella Maris College, Madras and went on to do an MBA from ESSEC, France. I worked for a year in London and my husband and I have recently returned to Mumbai where I am an investment banker. I have a great liking for books and music and like to do to the odd bit of writing, particularly relating to gender issues. My other interests include cooking, pot-painting, crosswords, scrabble, theatre, travelling, etc.

Life in India has changed very rapidly and fairly drastically over the last 5 years - computers, satellite TV, frequent jet-set travel, etc. As a result, people are more exposed to media and new ideas. This has no doubt resulted in a large generation gap. Parents and children have difficulty in relating to each other's lives. I suppose in a manner of speaking, I face the same problem with my mother.

It all started fairly innocently, about six years ago. One morning, when I was leaving for college, mum said to me, "I won't be here this afternoon when you get home. Your grandmas will be here, so just come back and have lunch as usual. I'll be back later". I assumed she was going to her regular Thursday bhajan class and did not think much of it. I came back in the afternoon as usual and waited for mum to return. Five o'clock came and went and there was no sign of her, I started to worry. Where could she be? Finally she returned at about 6 p.m. She seemed a little dressed up for bhajan class and was that make-up I spotted on her face? "It's a trifle late to be coming home on your own, isn't it mum? And what's that on your face - looks like blush and eye-shadow to me. Where have you been?". "Nowhere special. Just been shooting for a small role in Mani Ratnam's next movie - it's called Bombay. Had to do a bit of backslapping with Arvind Swamy". And a few months later, in college I had to face "Was that your mum in Bombay - backslapping Arvind Swamy and all. That must have been so cool!".

Having gotten off to a flying start, I gradually learned to cope with the various roles mum donned. It wasn't easy, but she has got to admit I was very accommodating. I got used to saying "yes that is my mum - that person dressed like a man, with a bald head" - my mum is part of an all women's theatre group where women take on roles of both genders and present plays with a social theme (dowry, old age homes, etc.). In the last ten years they have done ten plays and even won an award for the best play of the year in 1997. My mum thought I would feel more comfortable with the whole idea if I became part of the troupe - but with my poor Tamil and living away from home, that died a premature death.

Mum is not only involved in theatre and the odd bit of cinema, she is also a prolific writer. She writes for a Women's magazine called Eve's Touch in addition to contributing to various websites. Poetry, first person accounts, interviews - she does them all. People walk up to her and say "I loved that poem - you know the one about arrangements for marriages. I've had the same thoughts but can't express myself. I almost feel like you read my thoughts" and dad now introduces himself as "Padmini Natarajan's husband".

One day mum announced "I won't be available on Mondays for 4 hours in the afternoon" - gulp! What was all that about? Turned out she had become a counsellor on a helpline for suicidal people. Another day, "Dad, is mum around - I need the recipe for something - I'm having guests for dinner (who needs cookbooks when mum is around?)". "She's gone out - said something about getting a portfolio of photographs made - she's has some offers for advertisements".

Sounds like a busy life, but mum is primarily a home-maker. Makes sure the house runs like clockwork before taking on any other commitments. She is also the family nurse - should anyone fall ill, she tackles all the doctors and talks medicine like she has several degrees to back her up.

Since this is an article for Mother's Day, perhaps I should talk about one of her many roles in particular- that of being a mother. Notwithstanding her busy schedule, she always seems to be around - night or day, on the phone or the e-mail and even in person when we need her (in response to "Mum I'm lonely - please come and spend some time with me" or "Mum I have to pack up the house and don't know here to start - please come and help!").

Well I'm a staid banker and no doubt you can sympathise with me - this generation gap isn't all a figment of my imagination. But I have made every effort to bridge it and indeed am even be proud of all her achievements (mum you must give me some credit). That's why the other day I did not even bat an eyelid when mum said "I won't be home tomorrow. I'm going for a shoot - I'm going to feature in a music video for one of these satellite music channels."

Author's note: Believe it or not, this is actually my tribute to my mother on the occasion of Mother's Day. Given that she is someone with a zest for life and a terrific sense of humour, I did not think a mushie profile was appropriate!

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