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This womb is for boys only! Violators will be aborted!

Why?

That is my choice. It is my right. That is what I wish.

Why don't you want a girl?

What good is a daughter?

What bad things would she do?

To begin with she will make everyone in the family unhappy. And I, the mother, shall be the target of their disappointment!

How is it your fault?

Because they think I failed them if I can't give birth to a son.

Do you believe that you are responsible for the gender of your child?

I don't know. I guess it is my bad luck.

That is precisely what I don't understand. How is a girl going to hurt your family?

Girls are expensive.

How? Your breasts will fill with milk, clouds will rain, and plants will bear fruits whether your child is a boy or a girl.

She is a burden. She is a responsibility. She is too much work with no gain.

How is a daughter more of a burden or responsibility than a son?

A son will go to school, work, earn money and help the family.

Will a daughter refuse to go to school, or to work, or to earn money?

Of course not! But where would I get the money for her education? I have to save for her marriage! And how can I get her a husband if she is too educated?

So you will choose to not educate your daughter if you allow her to be born?

I already told you I don't want a girl.

I know you did but I didn't yet understand why. Why wouldn't a daughter help the family?

She will marry, take dowry, and leave. She will help her husband's family.

What if you don't give her dowry? It is illegal anyway!

Then no one will marry her. There are many girls whose parents will give dowry.

One would assume that there would be some man in the world who would want to marry a woman rather than marry the dowry! Men and women did marry before the invention of 'dowry'!

You have to give a daughter something. The house and the land will go to the boys. That is why I need a son, someone who would take care of the homestead after me.

Oh! So you are choosing to give your daughter some property when she marries instead of giving her a share after you die? And you are doing it at the expense of her education? But assuming that she doesn't marry, she will not leave you, right? So she will stay with you and help your family just like a son. That's what you want, don't you? So what's the problem?

What are you talking about? You want me to go to hell? Don't you know that it is a sin to keep a girl unmarried? Also it is dangerous to keep a grown unmarried girl in the house.

Actually, I don't know what you humans call 'sin'. It seems to vary with time and place, like your clothes and languages. But tell me, why is it dangerous to keep a grown unmarried girl in the house?

Well, she may attract men and get into trouble.

You lost me again. I thought you just said that men won't be interested in a poor dowryless woman. And now you are saying the opposite.

You don't understand anything. Men won't be interested in marrying her if she can't bring dowry but they may be interested in her flesh. She may also fall for someone. All this is asking for trouble.

Oh, I see. You are afraid that your daughter may be sexually assaulted? But that could be true even if your daughter was married, right? Or it could be true for your daughter-in-law too. Isn't it? Also, if your daughter falls in love with a man, then may be you can have a dowryless marriage!

A daughter can't marry just anyone she likes. My family won't allow it. The man has to be our kind. That is why sooner she is married before she is attracted to someone, the better it is for everyone.

OK. So you will choose to get your daughter married soon so that she won't marry a human of a different 'kind'. That is another term I don't understand. You all look the same to me. I can tell a cow from a human but don't understand why a human thinks another human is different.

Why are we talking about this? I don't have a daughter. I don't want a daughter.

That is precisely what I am trying to understand, dear. My job is to maintain balance by having half males and half females in the animals. I am doing fine except with the human animals who have become increasingly femicidal. This is creating an imbalance. In some places there are only 4 females for every 5 males. And I am trying to understand why humans prefer boys over girls.

It is simple. Girls don't belong to us. They belong to someone else. They will leave with our money. Boys will stay, bring money and take care of us while we live and even after we die. They will carry our name and property.

OK. Let me understand this again. You humans have created concepts called 'sin', 'money', and 'kinds' that only you understand. Then you have made some rules about which 'kind' of human can do what to minimize your 'sin' value and maximize your 'money' value. These rules make a human parent's chances of losing money and gaining sin higher if they have a girl child. This is why you would rather not have a girl if you can. Did I say it right?

In a weird way, yes. You do talk strange.

What you don't see is that your choice of rules is creating an imbalance that will force you to change your choices some day, may be even reverse it.

May be. But I don't worry about what will happen later. I have to live my life now. I didn't make the rules. I just follow them like a good girl should.

You say you only care about the present. But you are worrying about following rules that were made thousands of years ago without questioning them!

Go away. Don't bother me with your nonsense. I am running late for my appointment. [leaves]

[Mother Nature sighs, shakes her head mumbling to herself] I thought I created the best brain, with freedom to choose and create, and gave them to the humans. And what did they do? Designed a smart refrigeration system where boys will thrive and girls will perish. Instead of debugging and fixing their system they are trying to get rid of the girls, calling them perishables. How frustrating! Oh, well, I have to bear with them and let them learn from the consequences of their choices, even if it takes for ever. I better go check on that storm I left brewing in the kitchen.

Reference:

Abortion in India Is Tipping Scales Sharply Against Girls
By CELIA W. DUGGER The New York Times

New census results show a sharp drop in the number of girls in India, largely attributable to the spread of ultrasound testing and abortion of female fetuses.

"Early figures from the 2001 census, conducted in February and March, have made it clear that female fetuses are being regularly aborted, continuing a trend that first became marked in the 1980's. The number of girls per 1,000 boys dropped to 927 this year from 945 in 1991 and 962 in 1981."

"For example, here in Punjab, India's most prosperous farming state, the ratio of girls to boys has plummeted to 793 girls per 1,000 boys from 875, while in Gujarat, a leading industrial state, the figure for girls has fallen to 878 from 928."

Author's note:

What are some of the possible consequences of the drastic drop in girl-to-boy ratio in India? I would like to know the readers' views on this.

Saheli is an all-volunteer non-profit support and advocacy organization for Asian families in Austin, Texas. Saheli's mission is to help victims and survivors of domestic violence to heal, and empower them to make choices for a life free of abuse. We spread awareness of various forms of oppression against women and children through community outreach and education. We form a bridge between the Asian community and local services to cross the culture gap. Saheli's vision is to work toward preventing abuse in family relationships, to break the cycle of violence and pursue a cycle of peace. For more information about Saheli, visit www.main.org/saheli
To contact us call (512) 703-8745
or send e-mail to: saheli@usa.net

Opinions expressed in this column are those of the authors alone.

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