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Putting Caste in Our Past Melvin Durai Melvin Durai is an Indiana-based writer and humorist. Born in Tamil Nadu, India, he grew up in Zambia and moved to the U.S. in the early 1980s. In 1995, while working as a reporter for a daily newspaper in Chambersburg, Pa., he began writing a regular humor column. His weekly column now appears in several newspapers and on a number of Web sites. He also writes a twice-monthly column on Indian and Indian-American issues. He is a diehard fan of the National Football League and also likes to run, lift weights and play soccer, tennis and pool. An award-winning feature writer and aspiring novelist, he plans to publish a collection of his best columns. You can write to him at comments@melvindurai.com To read his older columns, go to http://www.melvindurai.com

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My wife sometimes jokes that she married a man of a lower caste. It doesn't bother me, because I know she married above herself. Even strangers can see it -- I'm much taller than her. I'm always looking down at her, even when I'm sitting.

Truth is, when my wife was in the market for a husband, she wasn't concerned about caste. She was looking for more important things, such as education, intellect, and stability. But in spite of that, she still married me.

I didn't care about caste either, as long as my future wife wasn't so high on the totem pole that her family might consider stoning me. (Totem pole? There I go again, mixing up my Indians.)

Getting married is hard enough without having to worry about caste. That's why some Indians say "caste no bar" in their matrimonial ads, while others are a little more particular: "Caste no bar, especially if you're a doctor."

But many Indians are still tethered to the caste system, even in the 21st century. Whoever tied the knot must have been a sailor. Just look at the number of matrimonial ads that specify caste, the number of women who wouldn't want to marry me, even if I had Amartya Sen's brains, Hrithik Roshan's looks and Sachin Tendulkar's bank account.

Of course, it's not much different from Americans specifying race in their personal ads. When you're looking for a mate, it's apparently OK to discriminate. You can advertise for someone who's light-skinned, light-haired, even light-headed. You can limit yourself to people of high-caste, high-income, even high school. You can show a preference for the well-behaved, the well-settled, even the well diggers.

If the caste system were limited to matrimonial concerns, it might be a mere pimple on India's face, but in a country where beauty contests are a growth industry, it's a deep scar that can't be hidden from the judges, no matter how much Revlon we apply.

The scar runs through every religion, making some people feel like animals, others like kings. And many of us have learned to be defensive about it.

High-caste man: "I don't know why those foreigners keep complaining about the caste system. It has disappeared in most parts of India."

Low-caste man: "Yes, most parts of India south of Kanyakumari."

Ask the Dalits about the caste system and they might tell you it has disappeared, but only if they've been drinking. More likely, they'll tell you it still oppresses them, especially in rural areas. More likely, they'll tell you about jobs they're unable to get, places they're unable to enter, segregation they're unable to escape. More likely, they'll tell you how terrible it is to be considered "polluted" and "untouchable," to find yourself fantasizing about the life of a cow.

To be sure, India has made strides toward equality, but it's like adding a few more layers of Revlon. Eventually, the scar may disappear, but so will the nose.

Judge: "Sorry, India, I'm going to give you zero points for appearance, especially if you insist on wearing that veil."

India: "OK, I'll take the veil off. But only if you promise to keep your eyes closed."

Cartoon Copyright © Sudeep Ross

For an email subscription to Melvin's regular weekly columns (not the ones that appear here), go to www.MelvinDurai.com

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