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A Good Marriage Can Be A Relative Thing Melvin Durai Melvin Durai is an Indiana-based writer and humorist. Born in Tamil Nadu, India, he grew up in Zambia and moved to the U.S. in the early 1980s. In 1995, while working as a reporter for a daily newspaper in Chambersburg, Pa., he began writing a regular humor column. His weekly column now appears in several newspapers and on a number of Web sites. He also writes a twice-monthly column on Indian and Indian-American issues. He is a diehard fan of the National Football League and also likes to run, lift weights and play soccer, tennis and pool. An award-winning feature writer and aspiring novelist, he plans to publish a collection of his best columns. You can write to him at comments@melvindurai.com To read his older columns, go to http://www.melvindurai.com

If you've taken little interest in your relatives, avoiding all those boring family functions, here's some news that may quickly change your attitude: Scientists have shown that it's OK to procreate with your cousins.

Wait! I don't mean ALL your cousins. I don't even mean one-at-a-time. It's better not to be greedy -- unless you live in Saudi Arabia and can afford a harem. Anywhere else and you might want to be picky, choosing the most suitable cousin, preferably one who's a little younger than your parents.

This piece of good news is courtesy of the Journal of Genetic Counseling, which recently published a study indicating that children of cousin couples face only a slightly higher risk of major genetic disorders than average. The finding should boost the spirits of married cousins, not to mention attendance at family reunions.

This is particularly good news to many Indians, for whom cousin marriages are nothing strange. In some Indian communities, the parents of a man's cousin give him theright of first refusal (the right to say no before other men do).

A shrewd man, faced with the prospect of marrying an unattractive cousin, holds onto this right for as long as possible, until he's absolutely certain she has finished blossoming.

Father of potential bride: "My dear nephew, please make up your mind. We want our daughter married soon."

Nephew: "Just a few more years. The older she gets, the more attractive she seems."

Father: "But how long can we wait? She has already turned 60. She isn't getting prettier -- Your vision is getting poorer."

As a young boy, I was often told that I would marry my paternal aunt's daughter. My relatives seemed to take great pleasure in telling me this, not realizing how much they were frightening me.

It's not that my cousin sister was homely or something. It's just that I wanted to marry someone with whom I had more in common than just grandparents.

But I grew to reconsider my opposition to cousin marriage -- and not just because one of my cousins blossomed into a Miss. India.

Cousin marriage offers a number of benefits. First and foremost, you get to keep the wealth within your family. In my case, the wealth consisted of a tennis racket and a rusted frying pan. Not exactly cousin bait.

Second, you don't have to spend much money on the wedding, because, with common relatives, you'll have fewer pests. I mean, guests. Unlike a typical Indian wedding, you won't have to host a thousand distant relatives, including your great uncle's sister-in-law's nephew's fourth cousin twice removed, whom you'd like to remove a third time.

Third, your children would have an easier time tracing their roots. Of course, they may complain about this. "Dad, how come my friend's family tree has more branches than mine? Do I need to pour more water on mine?"

Fourth, you won't have to dread meeting the in-laws, because you already know them as uncle and aunt. They will get along just dandy with your parents.

Of course, if you get a divorce, it could split your entire family. Even worse, your family may stay together and you'll have to keep seeing your former spouse.

Now that's frightening.

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