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Breaking the silence - Ranjita Biswas Ranjita Biswas is a Freelance writer from Bengal. She promotes education, specially for girl child through her writings and social activity.

Something unique is happening in this part of the country, though someone from the West would wonder what's this fuss all about. But considering the social milieu where women are supposed to listen and not heard admitting to lesbianism is something unusual indeed. Even in urban India where women are forging ahead in many fields and having a career is nothing novel these days, when a woman `comes out', it inevitably raises eyebrows sky-high. For, one can accept a woman working in an office, in fact working women are getting preference from cash-strapped middle-class grooms these days, but living in sin with a woman, and announcing it to the world? That's different kettle of fish altogether. It is as good as being stamped as a scarlet woman. That is why it was refreshing, and one must say secretly awe-struck by the `courage', to hear a Bengali woman say ``I am a lesbian and that's why I was persecuted endlessly by family and society.'' That Malobika and her compatriots assembled together alongwith the male homosexuals at a city seminar on Gay and Lesbian rights, is itself path breaking to say the least.

The subject of ``coming out'' generated quite a debate. Some found it absolutely necessary while for others it was a personal choice dictated by social, economic and political considerations. However, it was apparent n that for the majority the decision to be visible was like letting off steam from a pressure cooker. Pawan Dhall, founder member of the Counsel Club, which is a forum for the homosexual fraternity, only of its kind in eastern India, said as much. Realizing the need for a forum ``for those in the shadows due to societal pressure'' Dhall initiated the Counsel Club in 1993 with just five members. Today they have more than 200 members, men and women, regularly meeting and forming a support group. Dhall cited examples of Gays forced to marry by the family, despite knowing the truth, or being locked up or led to committing suicide. Dr Sujit Ghosh, psychiatrist and consultant, revealed how parents begged him to advise their son to get married, thinking it to be the panacea for all the ills. There was this poor woman in a rich family who stuck to the marriage despite knowing about her husband's sexual preference because divorce in her conservative community would be a worse fate. Even some medical practitioners treat homosexuality ``as a disease'' Dr Ghosh said and a few are known have resorted to eletro-convulsive treatment to cure the ``patient.'' If this could be the fate of male homosexuals in a patriarchal society one can well imagine the state of their female counterparts. Recognizing or discussing a woman's sexuality is itself a taboo subject.

The reason why Deepa Mehta's ``Fire'' created such a furore was that men and women too, could not accept that there could be lesbian relationships in good old `Indian' households. It reminds one, though in a different context, about the judge in a divisional court in Rajasthan. Bhanwari Devi was gang-raped because she tried to prevent a child-marriage in the village; in the verdict the culprits went scot-free because, as the judge proclaimed, it was unthinkable that high-caste men could do it to a low caste woman.

Calcutta's lesbian forum took root when two city women approached the Counsel Club for support when they were hounded for their love for each other. Things were so bad that they had to leave town. Fortunately, today lesbians have their own forum, Sappho eponymous to the Greek poet(ess) who lived in the island of Lesbos about 600 BC. It started with six core group members in June, 1999. Today they have more than 25 members. Malobika, a core member says that many women from small towns make inquiries with desperate plea for help. They are trying to establish an outreach network. Plans are also on to set up a resource center. As to why the lesbians went for a separate forum Malobika says, ``The needs are different for lesbians, though we share many common issues with the homosexuals and their problems.'' The biggest problem, of course, is marriage.

Though discrimination between the male and the female child is less among the upper middle class, for those in the lower strata, it is very much the norm. Most of the girls, even if they get an education, are supposed to get married and settle down. At this point when a girl admits to lesbianism all hell breaks loose. Malobika relates harrowing tales about fellow members who have been physically abused for their sexual preference. ``In one case the father of a 31 years old teacher kicked her down all the way from the third floor to the first floor''. Moreover, many develop psychological problems due to the constant hammering that they are `abnormal' and ``start to believe in it themselves.'' Under such circumstances, if the lesbians want to survive and lead their own life the most important thing is to have economic independence. ``That's why we advise the young girls who write to us to concentrate on their studies and plan a career,'' Malobika says. A support group like Sappho has had tremendous influence on lesbians of the city. Malobika cites example of members who have been inspired to find jobs or own their own businesses. To reach out to those in need the group decided to publicize their phone number and mail address (malvi99@hotmail.com). It was a bold move indeed considering the risk. The response has been more than they expected. The recent seminar was so successful and there have been so many inquiries that the British Council, which organized it, is planning a special seminar for lesbians exclusively. ``We'll invite students for interactive discussions. We know we'll face criticisms and curious looks but we want the people to know about us, understand that we are normal people too. `Break the silence' that's our motto, '' Malobika says.

A demand of the Gay lobby, where they feel the public support is important, is abolition of the archaic Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code introduced in the country by the British in 1860 which indicts homosexuality as going against the law of Nature. Today most of the colonial countries, including Britain itself have abolished this law and Gay rights are a part of the Human Rights agenda. But India still goes on following the Victorian law. Ironically, as Kavita Panjabi, teacher, Jadavpur University, pointed out while talking on `` Lesbianism: A human rights issue'' the law is kind to the lesbians in the sense that they cannot be prosecuted under it. Apparently, Queen Victoria refused to include the lesbianism clause in the law because she could not imagine ``such a thing existed''!

Till we Connect again next week...