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The Sea That Made Me See By- Vaishnavi Vaishnavi is 1975 born and works for an e-business company managing financial software for Wall St. based companies. Her favorite thing to do is to just be. She sees life as a celebration. Admiring all of nature's beauty is her passion. She truly believes that "All the world's a stage" and we are mere players in God's divine play. She believes in the power of love and is an optimist to the core. Meditation and Mothering are her other two passions.

Since a little girl, I have always been afraid of the sea. There was something so mystifying about it, something unknown, something immensely beautiful. I preferred to admire it from a distance, but feared to get closer to it.

One day, I was out in the woods. I must have been about 18 years old then. I was youthful, full of life and wanting to find the depths to which love can take me. I wanted to experience love. I had heard so much about it. But what it really was, I did not know. I was wandering alone in the woods, enjoying the musical sounds of the brook, the birds chirping and sunrays penetrating through the tall trees. I admired the wonder of life. I believed that there could be nothing harmful or negative here. What I did not know was that the woods I was wandering in was actually a jungle with wild animals. Sooner than I knew, ferocious creatures surrounded me, waiting to prey on me. It was a wild jungle and I had nowhere to go. I started running as fast as I could. I was being chased by these animals and felt their proximity as I ran faster...alas, only to reach the edge of a very steep cliff that overlooked the sea. I felt extreme fear gripping me. I could not think. There was no time for that. When I looked down the cliff, I saw a small raft sailing gently. At that moment, I thought that I could hold on to the raft and find my way to the shore. So, I jumped. My heart stopped as I took the big step into the unknown. All I knew was that I was rescued from the wild animals, but what lay ahead, I was clueless. Oh, did I tell you, I did not know how to swim! So, here I was, taking my flight into the deepest ocean not knowing how to swim. I plunged into the water and it did not seem as scary as I had perceived it to be. I struggled to breathe initially, but somehow managed to get to the raft. I was glad to not drown in the waters and found some thing that would keep me afloat. I was a little more at ease now. I was still alive! Now, I just had to think of a way to get to the shore.

Then, suddenly I heard a cry for help. I looked around in panic. Who is this person crying for help? Where is he? I looked desperately all around me. Only to find this drowning man holding on to one end of the raft - the same very raft that was keeping me afloat! With one hand holding the raft, I reached out to this man and pulled him towards me. He was struggling to breathe. I had no idea how long he was in the water. But knew for sure that he did not know to swim either! He was happy to have found some help. Now I had a companion and we both could help each other in finding the shore. I was thrilled. Part of me was also relieved that I was not alone. I did not know how long we would be together in our journey. I was happy regardless.

My friend and I shared the stories on how we landed on the sea. He had a more painful experience than me. While he was in the sea, a shark attacked him. It bit his leg and he was suffering from pain. He was bleeding profusely. But he still felt happy that he found a companion and all his pain seemed less painful to him now. I felt good that I was able to help him when he needed it the most. We made each other happy. I said to myself, this is probably what love is. I had been looking all over for love and felt good that I found it at last and in what a strange and fortuitous way!

As we were sailing slowly with our little raft, we were occasionally attacked by strange creatures of the sea. We tried to scare them away with what we had. They would go away briefly, but would come back at us repeatedly. I think they were attracted to the blood that was oozing out from my friend's leg. Things were getting very difficult as time passed, as the bleeding continued. The attacks from the sea creatures were getting more frequent. I was hungry and depleted and was struggling to keep myself alive and now I had a friend to save. I felt responsible for his life. I tried my best to keep him on the raft. I tore off a piece of my skirt to tie his wound and arrest some of the bleeding. It helped. But he was badly bruised and had been in the water longer than I was. I was losing hope. My heart cried for help.

And then, out of nowhere, I saw a small boat in my vicinity. I struggled my way to that boat and cried out loud for help. I saw a sailor who looked out. I waved to him desperately and he came closer to me. I felt so thrilled and thought that all my struggles were certainly coming to an end. I was finally safe! My sailor friend was very good to us. He gave us food to eat. He shared with us whatever he could. He even put a bandage on my friend's leg. I wanted to just go to the shore. But my sailor friend did not offer to take us there. I wondered why. He took such good care of me and let us stay on the boat. He gave me warm clothes as I was shivering from the surrounding water. He gave me everything I needed. I was so grateful for his help. But I also felt a strange bonding that I could not express. I wanted to be by his side always. I felt safe and for the first time, I enjoyed the sea! I enjoyed everything about it. I did not struggle anymore. There was nowhere I needed to go. Not even to the shore. I wanted to sail as slowly as possible, living every moment, experiencing every breath and sharing this joy with my sailor friend. For the very first time, I knew what love was. This time, I had no doubts about it!

My sailor lover's boat was a small one and had room for only one more person. He wanted me to join him in his journeys as much as I did. But I could not abandon my wounded friend who had no way of keeping himself alive or afloat. I knew it was time for us to continue on our journeys.

My wounded friend and I were back on our raft. But this time, I did not want to go to the shore. I felt so much life in the sea and I wanted to experience every drop of it. I saw a spectacular sight that night - two dolphins dancing with joy under the starry moonlit sky. I wondered why I never saw dolphins in the sea before. Perhaps I did not choose to see them. I took a deep breath, enjoyed the current moment and smiled without questioning.

Time was running out. My friend was hurting badly and needed help. I could not see him suffer but I was no longer desperate. Even though I did not see any help nearby, I knew we would be okay. And all I could do at this point was to embrace him and put my faith in God. I looked up to the shining sun in the blue sky and visualized my friend being healed. I felt the sunrays entering my being and enveloping me from within. I felt life entering every cell of my body. It was a strange feeling that's hard to explain. This time, I did not question the experience, but just let it happen. And to our absolute amazement, the wounds on my friend's body were being healed right in front of our eyes. His leg stopped bleeding and he was not in pain anymore. There were no creatures following us. Both of us felt utter joy to see this miraculous happening. Wow!

My friend was in so much joy and could not wait to get to the shore to start his life all over again...with me. He wanted me to accompany him and be his partner for life. I accompanied him to the shore, but bid farewell to him there. The shore was not my goal anymore. The source was. I got a glimpse of that when the life-giving rays entered my being. I longed to be one with it. So, I set out on my journey in search of my source. I was in no hurry to get 'there'. I knew that once I learn to experience joy in everything around me, I am there already.

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