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Divorce has become the order of the day. In the olden times, marriage vows were held sacred, and once the nuptial knots were tied then it meant tied together through thick and thin till death did them apart. Today just as we have evolved in many aspects of life, so too have we pushed ourselves backward in the quality of the relationships we hold. The desire to ape the west has led to black spots in many of our traditional and social norms one of them being eulogizing the concept of divorce even in circumstances, when unnecessary.

In an exclusive interview with SAWF Mrs. Manjula Devi , a leading lawyer in the family courts, member of the TamilNadu Legal Service Authority, specialist in the labour and family side cases in Chennai, India brought out various factors and incidents of divorce currently present .

Divorce has become rampant in the past few years here. Can you give a reason for it?

Divorce in most well to do families is due to lack of adjustment and ego clashes. This is true of both the males and females especially when both are working. There are ego clashes among educated working couples. The situation is not as before, ‘however be the husband; he has to be put up with because he is your husband’.

Can you give us an instance?

There was a couple, the man was a bank officer and the lady a computer professional. The lady who had lost her father at a young age and had been subjected to many a financial crisis continued to help her family financially after her marriage. She did not want to forgo her job, for any reason. The husband was transferred to Karur, following which he requested his wife to quit her job and join him. The wife joined him for ten days, and then expressed her desire to return. The husband even though, he had asked to see her resignation letter earlier was not shown one, and it was only after the lapse of ten days, that he came to know that she had not resigned her job, but taken a holiday. The husband expressed his inability to visit Chennai every week end to spend time with his wife.

In view of this he filed restitution of conjugal rights and marital rights. The order was obtained from the court that she had to return and live with her husband. A year has been given for resumption of the relationship, and with the expiry of the year, a divorce application will be filed. In most cases what happens is the party uses this as a sort of blackmail technique. They do not unite within one year and automatically obtain divorce.

I can tell you a case where a man divorced his wife because she wanted to go out of the joint family system. The wife did not want to stay in a joint family, whereas the husband was against living separately as he wanted to stay with his parents, he being the only son. He filed grounds for divorce citing that his wife had undergone an abortion without his knowledge. Abortion factor was used or maybe misused as an excuse to part ways.

In the poorer sections who makes the first move?

In the case of poor people the husband is always the first to file the divorce and subsequently the wife files a maintenance case. Sometimes, a warrant is tendered to the husband, and in such cases the wife, in spite of all the bickering and quarrels, sports a soft corner for the husband and the man uses this as a tool to coax the wife to withdraw the case against him .It is declared a family case and settled between themselves and the family.

Nowadays some youngsters choose their life partners in their college days and get married very early. Will this early marriage help in strongly cementing relationships?

In that age they are ignorant of their rights , do not realize the consequences and plunge recklessly without knowing how to face the outcome. There was a case involving a boy and girl between the age group 18 and 21.After 5 years of courtship they got married at a register office without the knowledge of the parents. After marriage, the same day they returned to their respective homes leading separate lives. When the parents came to know of it, they took matters into their hands. The girl’s parents applied for a divorce and even before it was through she was married away to a relative. This is not valid, and the boy hearing of it left for Singapore having filed a complaint. In this case they did not know the rules and laws that govern marriages and their rights to live together after getting married in a register office. It is an absolute case of divorce due to ignorance.

Is impotency used as cause for divorce?

Impotency as a cause for separation is very negligible in the Indian country, as many of our women do not come out openly with this problem.

What is the procedure in brief while filing a divorce case?

First requisite is the concerned parties must have been married for at least a year to file a divorce application. When the petition is filed, there is a counselling session by social workers assisted by the lawyers at the family courts. During the court proceedings the lady judge tries to talk to both the parties, trial is started and the parties crossed with questions. Written arguments are presented. Then the judgment is pronounced. In case of a petition for restitution of conjugal rights is filed a year is given for the couples to unite before the pronouncement of the judgment.

How is divorcee viewed in today’s society?

It is so common now that there is no stigma attached and they are not ostracized by society. The concerned parties are also not very affected by it as most of theses women are workingwomen and can financially support themselves.

In your opinion where and when is divorce really necessary?

In case of physical torture by husband, extra martial relationships, or incurable disease, divorce would free the person and enable them to lead better lives. But for small causes, like the joint family case mentioned it is not advisable. One can adjust. Absolute lack of adjustment is what is the real cause of separation in many cases.

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