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International Women's Day Special Sawf Members This issue of Connect commemorates International women's Day (08 March). This is an open section which we hope to build further using readers contributions. We invite Sawf readers add their thoughts to this page. Please send your contributions to Sawf Managing Editor for inclusion on this page.

Standing Her Ground By- Meenakshi Jha She stood her ground and she found she could move the mountain that stood in her way, she could change the course of rivers to flow her way, she could make the songless fate sing to her tune, she could fly up to the sky and touch the moon. All this she could do, she found , by simply and firmly standing her ground.

Bahinabai Chaudhary: Profile
By- Pratibha Kelapure

On International Women's Day, as we celebrate the achievements of women around the world, I would like to take this opportunity to introduce one extra-ordinary woman poet from India.

Bahinabai Chaudhary (1880-1951) was born in a small town in the state of Maharashtra, India. In traditional sense, she was an illiterate. However, her genius was original. Her understanding of human life is difficult to explain. Though widowed at the young age of thirty, she was self sufficient and independent and raised two sons. Her poems reflect her real day-to-day life and are composed in the form of 'Leva Marathi Owees'. She sang while doing daily chores in the field, around the house. She painted nature, flora and fauna, green fields, rivers, wells, household items in poetic, philosophical, and sometimes humorous way in very simple and few words. People around her wrote down her poems.

I have translated two of her poems for our readers. I hope my translation is adequate to carry the beauty of her poetry to you. If it fails to appeal to you, it is the fault of the translator. The originals are masterpieces.

Bahinabai wrote, "Now my life is by myself " when she lost her husband and was left with two sons to raise. In this poem she is reclaiming her life and showing confidence in her ability to raise them by herself. Her love for her husband is obvious through following lines,

"Tree has gone and left
but the shadow remains behind"

and

"Lord left for his home
left this treasure with me"

The second poem, "I Saw God, God Where?" is one of her profound poems. She speaks of simple truths in simple language.

Now my life is by myself
Bahinabai Chaudhary

Bahinabai wrote this poem at the age of thirty-one, when she lost her husband and was left with two sons to raise. In this poem she is reclaiming her life and showing confidence in her ability to raise them by herself. Her love for her husband is obvious through following lines,

"tree has gone and left         but the shadow remains behind" and "Lord left for his home         left this treasure with me" crying and crying          eyes filled and filled tears subsided subsided          now sighs remain! tears subsided subsided         I am the only relief to myself without tears like this          don't cry my heart! tell tell mother earth         how this miracle happened tree has gone and left          but the shadow remains behind Lord left for his home          left this treasure with me two darlings before my eyes          don't cry my heart! don't cry my heart          You are used to crying turn this cry into smile          that is the joy of life kunku got wiped wiped          now just tatto remains that will send send          invitation to my destiny even if bangles are shattered          the wrists are capable mangalsutra is broken         the promise around the neck remains don't oh please don't ladies          don't pity me I am satisfied          now my life is by myself I Saw God, God Where? Always for the world         spent self like cedar listen, in himself          he saw God saw God! self became a stone         endured the blows of stone carver listen, in stone         he saw God saw God! eyes closed closed         he forgot himself listen, in the dark         he saw God saw God! I found out the secret          that is your trick listen, the dark has          beaten the light! God where God where?          right before your pupils God where God where?          far across the sky!

We The Women
Great Indian Census
By- Suman Chopra

The great 'Kumbh' is over. The world got to see what India is made up of - burgeoning numbers. The nation can take pride in having so smoothly handling the largest gathering of human beings ever on the planet earth. No river has ever washed so many sins and souls in such a short time. Ram Teri Ganga is not maili in spite this greatest dip. Was the Kumbh a curtain raiser for the demographic mega-event - the head count - the great Indian census?

"What is a billion? It is that amount, which when invested, the interest on its interest could be 10 million", was the opening statement in the mid-sixties film called 'The Billionaires'. How long does it take to count a billion people - a sixth of mankind? The gargantuan scale of this exercise spread over thousands of remote inaccessible villages in rocky, marshy, mountainous, forested areas with poor road and Tele-communications is mind boggling. The peculiar social complications demanded a complex questionnaire for full understanding of the composition of this diverse country. Statistical data of sex, age, religion, caste, tribe, educational and employment status, migratory patterns, TVs and Telephones etc has to be gathered. The floating night population of Mumbai alone is larger than the total residents in many of the first world Capitals.

The experiences of the two million plus enumerators brought out some unimaginable peculiarities. Many houses were locked and empty because of frequent natural disasters that this 5,000-year-old civilization still faces with disproportionate regularity, resulting in temporary migration. People, especially women, were reluctant to even talk, leave alone share information about the family, or on subjects such as fertility etc. Nearly 30% of Indian women thing it disrespectful to even call out their husband's name. In fact in most homes it is impossible to enter unless the male member is present. Many village folk do not know factual data on births and deaths and often narrate that it occurred before or after so and so festival or some calamity. Night visits had to be made to Railway platforms, footpaths, and shanty enclaves where a big chunk of Urban-India resides for the night.

What are we looking for? Numbers to correct our Population clock? Scare mongering figures to blame all our past ills? The distance left, behind China, to breast the tape for the population Gold Medal, thus making us a software super power of a different kind? Or statistics that will help us shape a better tomorrow for those who never had a yesterday? Do we need to look at the big picture? Of course we do.

The entire recent US Presidential campaign was on issues related to the education, health and social security. Three subjects least spoken and even lesser budgeted in India. The first two will certainly solve most of our ills. Our politicians talk about emotive (votive) issues such as mandir-masjid, prices and poverty, cross border/international conspiracies. Every year we announce fancy new schemes for our women, but they end up gathering dust in the Central-hall library of the parliament. Even our elected representatives know little about them. The population initiatives require political drive and imagination to implement. Even an overwhelmingly Muslim country like Indonesia has done well by intelligently tackling its population problem through a literacy (80%) drive. Our recent population policy most philosophically encapsulates women's empowerment, basket of contraceptive choices, awareness etc. Yet we continue to lose 10 times more women in maternity complications every year than the total military personal lost in all our wars since independence.

We the women of SAWF are not the kind who should wait for the politico-bureaucratic Mafia to pretend pulling our gender-kind out of the black hole they themselves created. We need to liberate our less privileged 'sistren' from the bondage of illiteracy and poor health, and lead them into a happy and smaller family. The only success stories in India have been a few NGOs and some NGO like state Governments. How many of us have bothered to educate our own maids or the family of the driver or the safaiwala? How many of us are active participants in a local initiative? Can we run free classes in our garage when the husband is away to office even if it is at the cost of the 'Santa Barbara' or 'Bold and the Beautiful'? Are we the educated too shy to talk about a condom? Ruby Manikan, an Indian religious speaker had said "if you educate a man, you educate a person, but if you educate a woman, you educate a family". No one can educate a woman better than a woman. Let us do it.

A Quote By- Elizabeth Dandy Insist not on serenity;- Complacency and satisfaction- Composure may be slippery- And leave no room for further action

Province of The Women
By- Hillol Ray

The source of all intangible inspirations varies in our lives depending on the time, age, and mood -
Irrespective of who we are, man or woman, and such persuasion may remain valid even for good !
The history of modern civilization tells us the tales of battles of both genders in a real exciting way -
At times, they are heart warming; and sometimes, the affection buried by inspiration tends to sway !

In our traditional societies, men have been power mongers while women kept the silent voice -
But the primitive people were governed by the matriarchs and offered the men a little choice !
Restrictive power of the men erupted at the beginning of agricultural era and women were put behind the fence -
To satisfy the pleasures of male domination and greed that tantalized the men and made the situations too tense !

With an advent of civilization in third millennium, I can contemplate an own province of the women on the Earth -
Because of the women's freedoms and the liberation movements that have given our thoughts the brand new birth !
The need of women power is growing, and now prominently seen in the arenas of modern political game -
And they are coming forward for sharing the powers with men, in an effort to achieve notoriety and fame !

The magic played by the women brings smiles and compassion in the "frozen hearts" of the men -
While wiping their tears and comforting the troubles, even when both are sitting around the den !
So the attitude of servitude or domination of women is improper, and needs to change now -
The sooner the better, at the start of the third millennium, let's give it a try and take the vow !

The sweetest dreams of mine today softly whisper in my ears and tell me all about the new millennium dawn -
When the women will govern to carry the men through the enlightened path and use them as their only pawn !
But do remember, the liberation of women is the liberation of men via the removal of the 'fences' of the past -
So let us today explore such options of empowering women in their province in the next millennium at last !!!!

Successful women in their own fields
By- Rajini Shankar

Whoever said women belong to the weaker sex, may please go through this list, powerful, successful women in their own fields, all in the alphabet."

A- Arundhati Roy, b- Benazir Bhutto, c- Cindy Crawford,

d- Diana Spencer (princess of wales), e- Elizabeth Taylor,

f- Farida Jalal(reputed indian actress), g- Gita

Piramal (industrialist), h- Hillary Clinton, i- Indira Gandhi,

j- Jhumpa Lahiri (pulitzer prize winner), k- Kiran Bedi, The Police Officer

l- Lata Mangeshkar, m- Margaret Thatcher, n- Neomi Campbell,

o- Oprah Winfrey, p- Protima Bedi, q- Queen Elizabeth,

r- Rekha (indian actress), s- Shabana Azmi, t- Tanuja (indian actress),

u- Usha P.T, v- Vanessa Williams, w- Wynona Rider,

x- Xena, y- Yukta Mookhey(miss world 2000), z- Zarine Khan (famous interior decorator wife of actor Sanjay Khan, now ma-in-law of the famous Hrithik Roshan)

Do You Regret?
By- Bhavana

Can you have regrets about the way you have lived your life, the way your life has gone? Is it possible as some say, they have 'no regrets' in their life? Is it a lie, or a lack of introspection, or simply a statement of fact?

I look back and I see each step could have been taken differently_ I was a quiet and timid child in primary school. Perhaps I should have been less intimidated by the teachers who seemed so big, so different from the women I was used to at home and oh so fluent in English! Then when I got to 5th STD., I was undergoing a transformation which was full blown and complete when I reached 7th STD. I became brash and dominant. 'Leadership Quality' it was called. Maybe that was the begining of my undoing. A fun-loving, high-spirited girl, brought onto the side of establishment- "To cull the mischief, take care of the mischief-maker!"

So, what else could I have done differently? First of all, not studied Home Science. Specially, Child Development! While my family has thrived because of that learning, for myself it has been a disaster. It only made me think I had to sublimate myself for them. Secondly, taken a job far from home after my management studies. I could have got away from the pressure to get married and 'settle down'! Well-meaning though my parents were, pushing your daughter into a strongly patriarchal set up, is just not good for her. They thought society had moved far ahead, but as I've learnt from experience, despite the best intentions, attitudes are atavistic. Thirdly, I should have moved to a nuclear set up as soon as I got married. Nothing harshly spoken, but a look here, a soft word there, nudge-nudge, wink-wink...All a shock to everyone involved, as we thought ourselves far above petty jealousies, posessiveness, and insecurities. "We are mature, right?" Wrong! MIL-SIL-DIL problems don't disappear with education and culture. Maybe they get better managed, but that again is debatable. So, is the answer to a woman's preservation of self to be found in communes like some feminists say? From where I am, it seems rather unnatural to me. They are I think just as open to a pecking order_ a queen bee at the top and the workers at the bottom! Their identities to be just as easily subsumed by the commune.

Or, can individualism only thrive in a single-state? At times, even that seems sad. The joys of mothering and the onerous responsibilities of single-parenthood don't seem perfectly matched. So, while each of us follow our inner voices or outer dictates, are we being set up to make mistakes and have regrets?

A wise man said_"Lead a good life, so when you are old and you look back, you can look back with enjoyment."

How real can that be?..No regrets?

Nari
By- Archana Gangawar

Aurat apne aapme khud sabhi saktiyo se paripurna hai. Are vo to hamesha se sakti ka kendra kahi gai hai. Purush ki sakti bhi vo hi hai. Purush ki jananni bhi vo hi hai. Yadi vo apni sakti ka galat istemaal kare to uska zimmedar aur koi nahi vo khud hi hai. Kyonki duniya zhukti hai jhukaane wala chahiye. Yadi sirf nari hi nari ka haath kas ker thaam le To is duniya ki tasveer hi badal jaye. Varna aaj jis tarah se ek ladki Ko janam lene se pahale hi maar diya jata hai to kuch samay baad nari ka akal per jayega. Phir nari ki bhi choori hone lagegi. Uski aaj se kharab isthiti ho jayegi ye ek katu satya hai. Abhi hasene ki baat lag rahi hai. Lekin isse nakara bhi nahi ja sakta hai. Aur iski jimmewar bhi aurat hi hai.

Nari ko nari ne Behad hai loota Dosh madhe mardo per Kaisa ye dhokha Voh nari hi thi Jisne beti ko kosaa Vo bhi naari hi thi Jiski bahu, jali thi Vo bhi naari hi thi Jisne vivaha kiya vivahit se Ek naari ka haq Jabran liya Vo bhi naari hi thi Jo daku bani thi Naari ke suhag ko Bandook se liya Aur vo kya naari nahi thi jisne ek ladaki ki aasmat ko becha tha Gar sirf naari hi Naari ko samajh jaye To her naari ki duniya hi badal jaye.

Credits: Photo provided by Janmeja Singh Johl

Wise Words
By- Indira Chakravorty

"The quality of light by which we scrutinize our lives has direct bearing upon the product which we live, and upon the changes which we hope to bring about through those lives." ( Poetry Is Not A Luxury)

"When I dare to be powerful - to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid".

"I have come to believe over and over again that what is most important to me must be spoken, made verbal and shared, even at the risk of having it bruised or misunderstood."
Audre Lorde the Quotable

Hooked On A Hobby
By- Srividya Krishna

When Mary Cahill taps her gavel (read crochet hook) people are all ears. Her voice booms over a large library room addressing crocheters who have gathered for their weekly crochet diet, as they prefer to call it. She spells out the agenda for the day, which is `show and tell' which means the crocheters can display their work of art for others to see. If it is something new they get a chance to explain how they did the piece or where they got the pattern. For readers wondering what this is all about, I am about to explain how some talented ladies in the Bay area (northern California) meet every week to discuss their hobby that is `crochet.' It is not a meaningless `kitty party' where it is just fun and gossip. It is a meeting with a difference i.e., strictly business, that is crochet.

The meeting begins at 9 a.m. at a library hall. The women display their work in progress, in front of them and begin working on them. They crochet with yarn (wool, as Indians call it) or thread but their ears are tuned to Mary's friendly humorous banter telling them about the agenda for the month, which even includes a field trip once in two months, to most exclusive yarn shops in the neighborhood.

They also hold workshops, which are mostly free unless it is some technique that is new and needs materials that are slightly expensive. The group is a mixed bag of people both in terms of age and status. Would you believe if I said the group contains Chartered Accountants, lawyers, paralegals and other professions, who have taken up crocheting as a hobby? But it is true. Every week the women get together a few hours away from their family to pursue a hobby that is close to their heart. Even children of the women who are interested in crochet join the group meetings.

Being a member of a crochet newsgroup on the web, I have made several friends. Veronica a.k.a. Pinka is one of them whom I met this way. When she heard that I was moving to Northern California, said that she would take me to these group meetings.

As I didn't know driving she took the task of driving me to every meeting and dropping me back. Another feature of this group is that they make Afghans (it is almost like a shawl. But bigger) and donate it to children's hospitals and other social service organizations. Mostly these Afghans are done with left over yarn from other projects. They are crocheted into 7'' squares and put together using a needle. The end result is beautiful. Last month they donated 38 such beautiful Afghans to a childcare center near San Jose.

Mary Cahill also stresses that this hobby un-stresses the mind and helps get your mind relaxed and others endorse it.

It is nearly two months since I began attending these meetings and I love every moment of it. And I have to agree it truly relaxes the mind.

Which brings us to why I wanted to write this article. As most of you would be aware, crochet is nothing new to India or to any one state. You may know of people in your families who in the past may have crocheted, especially grandmas who would have done the predictable Radha-Krishna curtain or a bouquet of flowers coverlet, you may also have heard them say that they never had a pattern. But this form of needlework has virtually vanished along with their grannies. Amazing, India has a lot of talent not in a craft like crochet alone, but other such hobbies like embroidery, Tanjore paintings, etc, which are unique to our country. When I was to write an article for Women's Day, I thought I should take the opportunity to help rekindle in women that old hobby stashed away in the attic.

I have always wondered why Indian women get sucked into familial life (I don't deny it is not important!) alone by burying their interests. We are not trying to go that extra mile to do things for ourselves and keep alive our hobbies, which are important too for a stress-free mind. A woman with a stress-free mind can enhance her familial life too! This way she can showcase her talent for people to admire.

I just wanted to toss this idea among sawf readers. Why don't we bring out that hobby of ours, which we had put away either after school or `after marriage' as many would choose to put it? Try and get interested people to join you, not for a kitty party (that's for another day) but just to discuss that cherished hobby of yours. The bonus would be `relaxed and unstressed minds'.

Credits: Graphic by: http://plato.ess.tntech.edu/cventura/tapestrycrochet.htm

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