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Staying Single-A Difficult Choice? By - Rina Mukherji Rina Mukherji has spent more than one a half decades (17 years to be precise) in the Indian print media. She has written on practically every topic under the sun- business, politics, science, gender issues, child rights, the environment, films, literature, public health and human rights so far. She has worked for several national newspapers in Mumbai and Kolkata, and freelanced for nearly all major newspapers and magazines in the country. She also holds a doctorate in African Studies, and has several academic articles to her credit

School-teacher Shukla Das had opted to stay single, even as she coped with the rigours of providing for her two brothers, and helping them settle down in life following her father’s untimely demise. She was always the highly-respected Didi who commanded as much respect as her mother in the household. It was hence a big shock to the middle-aged Shukla, when a year ago, a little after her mother’s death, her younger brothers started bullying her into quitting home.

Jeroo Wadia’s is a similar story. Ms Wadia had never felt the need to get married while her upper-middle class parents lived. Ten years older than her male sibling, she was someone whom her brother’s family looked up to. But, today, in her late ‘50s, with her parents having passed away, she is being pressurized to give up her only room in the spacious south Mumbai flat bequeathed by her parents. “ The argument is: I can easily buy a flat for myself with my job as an Executive Secretary in a multinational. Besides, they point out, with three children and a dog, they deserve much more space than me here.”

Ruma Haldar’s case is slightly different. Born into a conservative business family, she educated herself through scholarships to land a lecturer’s job in a college. Perhaps, sibling rivalry has a role to play here, with none of her brothers or their wives having completed graduation. She has been thrown out of from her parental home, even as her parents look on helplessly. “My parents have no say in anything. My brothers browbeat them in every decision ever since they started holding the reins of the family business.” Still in her early ‘30s, she now commutes long distance to her job, in spite of having every legal right to a spacious family home in the heart of Kolkata.

Whether it is Mumbai or Kolkata, Hindu, Parsi or Christian, the stories are repeated several times over. Notwithstanding all legal steps taken by the government, single women-whether spinsters, widows or divorcees, continue getting a raw deal.

With more and more women opting out of matrimony, it is time to examine women’s rights to parental property. According to the law, every offspring-male or female, has an equal right to the parental home, unless a will is drawn to the contrary.

Thus a girl,single or married , has every right to continue living in the parental home if she wishes to. However, women generally do not bother to assert their rights once married. Or rather, relatives would not like them to.

At the root of this is the customary dowry given to women in marriage. So, time and again, one hears, “Look, the girl is given a good share when she leaves for her matrimonial home. Why should she have a right to parental property as well?” Significantly, thanks to her conditioning, a married woman in India does not even think of herself as a part of her parental home. Her rights and duties center around her husband and in-laws once she gets married- an arrangement aimed to leave every one happy and contented.

But what happens if the marriage fails? Time and again, divorcees in India find themselves in a limbo- minus a roof over their heads. Mary Roy took up the issue, and won her right to live in her parental home years after being denied a place to live in by her siblings when her inter-religious marriage ended in divorce. This was in 1986.

But years after the landmark judgement, women like Shukla Das, Ruma Haldar and Jeroo Wadia must seek legal redress to demand justice and their legitimate right to parental property.

The crux of the matter is:
Single women will continue being denied their due unless society does not cease viewing them as appendages to its existence.

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