CLARITY in defining the CORE VALUES in any given scenario is the most important thing. Learning to compromise by letting go most and keeping the few which form the core values is the name of the game.
Indians or Pakistani parents of American born children must decide what they are willing to give up and what they are not willing to give up when it comes to the upbringing of their children in a far away land. Core values are not be given up; rest could go. For example, to me the most important thing is Pakistan. Therefore, I do not really care if my children totally adopt American way of life or not. What I care most is that they care about Pakistan. I expect them that they support Pakistan as they become productive citizens of America. For example, if one of my kids becomes a lawyer then I want that kid of mine to raise voice against injustices done to the minorities in Pakistan. For example, if one of my kids becomes a journalist then I expect that kid to write to defend Pakistan and Pakistani interests.
What I said above is good for me, but it may not be acceptable to another Pakistani family. Therefore, it is within every parents’ right to define CORE VALUES and children are to live with it until they are 18 (generally speaking).
Regards, Shaukat Khan, MBA
Sunanda Vashisht comments : Dear Shaukat Thanks for your valuable comments. I agree that there has to be a set of core values well defined by parents right from the first day. And these core values must not be compromised on. However, sometimes it is hard for even parents to decide what the core values should be. I would be happy to get some more opinions on this. Thanks a lot for your input. sunanda vashisht
Shaukat Khan comments : American born kids of Indians and Pakistanis must be allowed and guided to become American citizens with mainstream American values having a SOFT SPOT for their respective 'old country.' Please note that conservative family values are mainstream American values too. If you do not believe that then ask any American Mormon or moderately conservate American family. On this issue we can also learn from liberal Irish-Americans! They are 100% Americans with Irish day parades and love for the Ireland!!
I do not necessarily buy into Naipal's terminology of 'Cultural Orphan.' Because each new comer ethnic group in USA has more or less felt at one point or other such 'Orphan' feelings starting from Irish immigrants to German, Italians, Catholics, Mexican, and so on. Feeling like a 'Cultural Orphan' is not an Indian or Pakistani specific dialema. It has happened to many others nationalities in past and will continue to happen to many others who will come to USA in future. It is at this very point where Naipal's argument's SPECIFIC-NESS (regarding Cultural Orphan)to Desi people loses its ground.
Regards, Shaukat Khan, MBA
Sandhya Acharya comments : Hey Sunanda, Here's what I think What if we let go of giving names to our opinions, viewpoints and beliefs. Let go of saying this is American, that is Indian. Let everything that you are exposed to be "a" value or a new point of view. Let each man or women be his or her own judge in choosing the point of view that he or she finds most relevant to him or her. Why be defensive or insecure? If we think a particular value makes sense, be it from any country, accept it. Maybe this is too simplistic but worth a try I think. What do you think?
Granville Earl Lovell comments : I have more information than any man in the world about any art or treasure pyramid or Stone Hinge or Bible and missing Bible information and the world is missing so much information.
Lopa Shroff comments : It possible to raise a kid with Indian values outside of India.
My name is Lopa Shroff and I have 2 boys ages 6 and 8. I live in USA, state NH and in a small town Nashua. In town we have Shishubharati school of, Indian culture and languages. We devote our Sunday morning to the school and teach children Indian culture and 5 different languages. These helped the Indian community living in Nashua and neighboring town to pass some Indian values to their children. They won't be totally Indian or American but I think they would have over values. We also go to Jain pathshala once a month to teach our kids Jain religion. Like a regular school kids have home work and tests which push the kids and parents to take the school seriously. Both school help my family to pass our culture to my children. For example, the children participate in celebrating Diwali, Independents Day, Republican day and Holi every year. A comment from my sister who lives in India was, my kids are as much expose to the culture of Indian as hers.
Z. Balaparia comments : Interesting article. I have so many parades and celeberations by various communities in New York. Everyone wants to show his or her feel to his or her community but the question even if he is NOT - he will remain be in the slot of African American, Asian American (within Asia, more slots), Cuban American, Polish American, Italian American, Greek American, etc. So everyone wants and bound to keep his or her culture because society wants him to do so because he is being placed for that.
I personally think that the title of your article "cultural orphans" as far as America is concerned IS inappropriate.
