Vandana Singh comments : Mamata, a beautifully written, thought-provoking article. People don't often realize that tradition is multi-faceted, that it is not static, that therefore, within it lies the potential and the inspiration for us to change society to a more humane one. It is up to us what aspects of tradition we accept, reject, or change. Thank you for your wise words, Mamata!
Indian or South Asian tradition as you very rightly point out is rich and diverse. I also liked how you likened 'tradition' to a flowing river. It is upto us to enrich it with what we do today, derive inspiration and strength from the positive aspects of it and eliminate and change the things that pollute it. Many thanks for yet another piece of gem. Please keep them coming !
Meenakshi
Raj Shekar comments : Mamta...so well put..I add some perspectives...:)
So often has tradition been, the holy deity that brooks no challenge particularly by, the transient and so mortal, human will..God forbid it should ever be an approach... who's transience is NOT absolute...This, is often not open to questions.
I agree, that many....particularly women from the subcontinent...who seemingly, wish/allow/dont-fight, this subjugation to 'traditions'. This is in essence a conventional sum-total of societal wisdoms of a rooted past, or their,'current' for the moment, avtaars. The point is, often lost, that for traditions to evolve...some Must break, to initiate/reflect that incremental change.
A small story to illustrate the point.
I went to Haridwar to 'immerse' my mothers ashes..true to traditions and I would guess, her desire...I took my wife along..and this, was frowned at, by many relatives. 'The Aurtay nahi jatay' theme. This outlook had won out during my fathers rituals. My aunt, flaunting the traditions of her generation, and as a gesture of support, decided to go to..along with my wife.
In the usual prohit of the gotra records..lookup's/ writeup's..post immersion, I was pleasantly surprised to find an old great grand aunt.. recording for posterity, in her own hand, the bringing of the ashes of her husband along with other relatives present...in 1905 or some such date. It was worth observing , the detractors (relatives) against a womans participation in such functions, in context to that hard evidence. That it was done..a rubicon was crossed.I am sure, she must have had to battle hard to take that step.In the end it was accepeted with that wry bit of punjabi humour (ki chalyo mannay peyaga ki ithey thay pehaly ve inj hondah see) That at least in this family..it IS the given tradition..:)
My point is, battling tradition is an incremental task in initiating change.In our family, 95 years of precedent, and yet..there still are diehards amongest my own...and importantly converts too.
In terms of a pragmaticapproach...how these waters flow, must be factored in. Loads of determination, conviction in ones beliefs and a great deal of patience..are the needed strengths to steer where one may wish to go.... Society as is its wont, will follow, only at a 'safe' distance and provided, the numbers are with you...in that clamour for change.
So, if one wants it now...make oneself aware of the challenges ahead and the 'costs' one may have to pay. Only then, choose if one still wishes to...to plunge on regardless...:)
a very well composed article. I enjoyed reading it right till end.
Its strange that tradition is so much made to be part of being a woman and does not carry the same bearing for men of our society. some women are born strong like the ones from Mythology you mention in your article and some are made that way by their circumstances. But some women can get away by not recognising the need to be independent. A person's character plays a role here. I know of a few western women who have married South Asian men and they shock me by their submissiveness. That makes me think that they were smart women who knew they will be able to survive better in another culture than in their own which is more demanding on women in some ways.
I am glad you are bringing up such issues for men and women to read and be aware of where we all stand and we must wake up to changing roles of women. Traditions are meant to evolve with time and most educated people do not need to be told its the not-so-educated who cause moe obstacles in evolving of a society. But of course exceptions apply everywhere.
