I object to the characterisation of rapists as "sick" and "deranged"; it implies that rape is an aberration rather than a routine and widespread form of human male behaviour. There is some measure of comfort (to both sexes) in this line of thinking, I guess, but it is dangerous for two reasons. One, it lulls people into believing that rape is something that happens in other people’s backyards, never their own. How many parents believe that their sons would rape or even sexually harass a woman? How many women believe it can happen to them, not at the hands of some insane schmuck lurking in the street, but by someone they know and trust? (About 55% of the rapes reported in the US are committed by someone the victim knows). Secondly, by designating rapists as the fringe elements of society, we fail to acknowledge that societal attitudes and constructs themselves foster sexual crimes. There are practically no social pressures on human males to control their sexual impulses. The notion of women as property may be illegal in this 'modern' age, but its manifestation continues to this day in many subtle and not-so-subtle ways. Combine these with a media-propagated culture that routinely commodifies and dehumanises both women and the sexual act. 'Proper' dress and behaviour are very flimsy safeguards (if at all) against sexual harassment or rape. We can wring our hands all we want about its causes, but in the end, rape is a problem of male behaviour. Teaching your daughters or sisters to be risk-averse will not do much good unless you also work on the mindset of your sons, nephews, brothers, etc.
Veena
Meenakshi comments : I think it is crucial to understand why is it important to drive home the message that 'woman is not the cause or responsible for a sexual crime'.
These are some of the reasons why -
1. to make the (men in the) society take full moral responsibility for any such action committed on women. as soon as you make woman partly responsible (for all the wrong reasons), it helps even perfectly normal and sane people feel justified to act irresponsibly. this is the reason why we find that rape is not committed by mentally deranged or sick people alone but also by people who are normal and whom we trust.
2. rape leaves a woman with not just physical scars but mental and emotional scars. nothing can be worse if a woman who has been raped is made to believe thatshe is partly responsible for the horrifying experience that happened to her.
As I said earlier during the debate, taking precautions against potential rapists is one thing but making women feel responsible (even if partly) for a crime committed on them is quite another. There are many many rape incidents that take place all over the world even when the women take all the precautions and behave with modesty.
Meenakshi
Sunanda Vashisht comments : A different yet very interesting and appropriate perspective on this hugely important issue. I classify myself as hardcore feminist and yet I found myself completely agreeing with VK's article because it does make sense to put your safety first and talk about rights later. I agree with Veena's viewpoint that Rapists are people amongst us and don't always come across as mentally sick or deranged. That is exactly the point VK is trying to make when he says that there might be a rapist lurking behind the guise of an uncle, a neighbour, a teacher etc. They are everywhere and hence it makes it even more important that we put safety first. Not only because they are sick people but because they are usually in a disguise so you can't tell. I strongly agree with Veena when she says that being cautious is not going to help completely. We also need to work on the mindsets of men we know. The media is also a huge culprit. The fact the women continue to be portrayed as sex objects is also responsinbe for this situation. There is so much female exploitation in Media erveryday that it really chokes me. All you need to see is a picturization of any present day film song and you will know what i mean. While it is important rather crucial to be cautious that is not all. We need to educate the men around us too. It is a huge task considering that men tend to go scotfree in our society but we have to make the beginning somewhere. At least on SAWF we have. Thanks VK for sharing your thoughts with us. Good Luck Sunanda
Your suggestion that rape is a routine and widespread form of human male behaviour is rather strident, if not outright bizarre. I am sorry you have such a poor opinion of half the human species.
A person is judged as mentally sick by the acts that he commits, not by his / her looks, so I really don't know how you pick out the insane schmuks in the streets and avoid them. IAC, your suggestion that ordinary males, not sick ones, commit rape is neither supported by statistics nor logic.
Your contention that...there are practically no social pressures on human males to control their sexual impulses... once again, smacks of feminist stridency that I won't respond to.
Your conclusion that ...proper dress and behavior are flimsy safeguards against rape while technically correct misses the whole point that I tried to make - that flimsy dress and provocative behavior could land you in trouble.
I do agree with your conclusion that Teaching your daughters or sisters to be risk-averse will not do much good unless you also work on the mindset of your sons, nephews, brothers, etc.
I agree with your post entirely. However, it seems to gloss over the point that I was trying to make.
While a women's behaviour can never be a mitigating factor in the crime of rape it can occasionally lead to it.
The rest is semantics - Cause...Responsible...
If I decide to go for a swim in shark infested waters can I be held responsible for my death, when a shark decides to help itself to a good meal?
You can shout yourself hoarse - No! The shark, would be responsible for my death, not me. However, that is not going to convince me to go for that swim.
Perhaps it is going too far to call rape a "routine and widespread form of male behaviour". But I still maintain that most rapists are ordinary men, not sick or deranged people. If rape is an act committed by the deranged, then by plea of insanity or mental illness, the rapist cannot be held truly responsible for his actions. As far as I know, merely the act of committing rape does not qualify a rapist as a sick person in the court of law. Under your hypothesis, every rapist would be sent to a therapist, not to jail. Is that the case?
You also said: "Your contention that...there are practically no social pressures on human males to control their sexual impulses... once again, smacks of feminist stridency that I won't respond to."
Dismissing something as "feminist" and "strident" and (therefore, unworthy) is not a response one expects from a rational and intelligent male. I was not making any value judgements or statements of morality here. It is a fact that societal attitudes to sexuality sharply differ depending on gender (the reasons for these differences are varied, but that is a topic for another day). It is not hard to see the correlation between rape and a societal attitude that allows free rein to male sexuality but designs every kind of chastity belt for females. Maybe I ought to sugarcoat these bitter pills, but I don't know how to.
I agree with you on the point that flimsy dress could lead to trouble. I will stay clear of the "provocative" behaviour part. It seems to me that anything a woman does or says can be construed as provocative by the offenders: there are enough anecdotes where the perpetrator gets turned on by the woman's resistance. I would just say that women must avoid risky actions such as drinking or doing drugs with males, venturing out in unsafe places, being alone at odd hours with men they do not know very well, etc.
Veena
PS: No, I do not have a poor opinion of "half the human species". Men can be a source of great delight, and the world would not be half as much fun without them. But that is only a personal opinion. Taking a broader worldview, however, observing how men AS A GROUP have treated the other half of their species, does give me pause.
I think a sick and a deranged man who commits a crime should be held guilty of the crime and punished just like any other person.
Declaring a criminal not guilty on account of mental sickness is ludicurous. If the technicality of mental illness must indeed be acknowledged, he / she should be decalared guilty on account of mental sickness!
Indeed, I would go to the extent of saying that the death penalty should be reserved for the mentally deranged criminals since they can never be reformed. I know this will raise liberal hackles, but so be it!
Texas and many other states in the US hold mentally sick people accountable for their actions. I think these states are on the right track.
As far as your ...no social pressures on human males to control their sexual impulses...is concerned I continue to find it near abusive. I can come up with a rejoinder that reverses the gender logic to illustrate what I mean but I don't think that will help this discussion.
BTW, expressing male sexuality is a lot different from not being able to reign in sexual impulses!!! It is possible you made the wrong choice of words.
IAC you end with very positive remarks that probably come as a great relief to the male readers of Sawf.
By your reasoning then, all rapists ought to receive the death penalty. While I do get some visceral satisfaction from this thought, I am afraid I cannot agree with your conclusion. Not because I am against the death penalty, but because rape cases differ in their level of brutality and such harsh punishment should not be meted out in a blanket manner.
==> "BTW, expressing male sexuality is a lot different from not being able to reign in sexual impulses!!! It is possible you made the wrong choice of words."
It is possible, Vijainder, that you are being overly defensive :) Nowhere have I said or implied that men are INCAPABLE of reining in their sexual impulses. Many men choose to do so, but the motivation is almost never a fear of what society would say if they expressed their sexuality.
Maybe you can mull on this:
Stud - Slang.a man, esp. one who is notably virile and sexually active.
What are the slang words used to describe a sexually active woman?
Veena
Krantikeshwar comments : Vijay, With due respects to your opinions, I must say that some of statements you made in your article are silly and amusing :) Your statements give me a feeling that you think women as tools for continuing human life. I hope I am wrong here and hence, apologies in advance. Any way, I seek your clarification.
regards, Krantikeshwar
Women need to be provocative, at times. Just like flowers need to blossom and birds need to chirp. Provocative behavior on the part of a woman, besides being a delight for men, actually ensures the continuation of human species.
Thank you for expressing your opinion and feelings.
Shoba Srinivasan comments : it would be inappropriate to say what a fascinating topic. dead man walking!
rape is a crime and there's no justification for such a crime where one forcefully exert themselves on the other against wishes. physical rape, mental rape, emotional rape, rape of a woman, rape of a man, children...its much more than being "sick" in the head. what causes rape-who will ever know? the discussions could carry on till the cows come home, but even as the cows made their way home somebody somewhere is getting raped.
i want to state that this particular crime is not just female orientated. i have known men getting raped by women and by other men.
dressing provocatively, behaving provocatively- these could be contributory factors, and therefore i would agree with vkt's points. i know of women who send out strong signals to men for a roll in the sack but somehow 'wake up' to it and pull out at the last minute. i know of women who consented but later cried foul. i know of teenagers riding on a high of sizzling hormones sleeping with men old enough to be their daddies, but later filing police cases...
you may look, you may drool. you may give cat calls. you may even playfully touch. but that doesnt mean you can use force on us. most women want to say this, i wonder. but what about the women who pursue to be bedded? we expect the ultimate from guys and their resolves.
vkt's parallel to the shark infested water-yeah i guess ultimtely we need to protect ourselves. some get rped, some get mugged, some get murdered. these are all various forms of violations.
we (women) need to step out of situations and weigh the gravity of opinions and ideas instead of waving the feminist flag, ever ready to get offended.
well vkt, i hope you're getting your fighter pilot's worth by starting this debate!
shoba
Carmen Thomas comments : Reality can be a bitter pill...and reality is that if you dress a certain way, you will be perceived that way...I believe a woman of any age can be sexy and attractive without wearing hip hugging, navel bearing, chest exposed garb I see teenagers wearing these days. I'm no prude, but I believe girls and women who advertise in this way incite the weirdos out there to more and more daring attempts to fulfill their sick fantasies. Every week more and more children make headlines for being abducted, raped and/or killed. We have to ask ourselves as parents - is my daughter dressing in an overly suggestive manner? Is it fair? No, but life isn't fair. Do we have the right to wear whatever we want? Yes we do. But we also have to be aware of the consequences of our actions. Like it or not, the way we dress has a direct bearing on how we are perceived as women. We need to stop whining about our rights and start thinking of our safety and that of our daughters.
